Advice from our guy friends. This week they answer the question: If a woman really likes a guy, should she NOT sleep with him on the first date? Or does it matter?
Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner): If by "really likes," you mean, "has any interest in going on another date with him ever," the answer is probably not. Unless the sex is mind-blowing, his name will never show up on her caller ID again. And if the sex is mind-blowing, then his name will show up on her caller ID all the time, because he will think of her as his ----- buddy. (What if his name doesn't show-up on caller ID, but in your in-box instead--does a post-sex e-mail mean he's just not that into you?)
That said, I've always found it better to lie and manipulate than to be straightforward. She shouldn't tell him she won't have sex. In fact, she should probably be as arousing as possible before being allergic to his cat or getting an emergency phone call from her mother. That way she gets credit for being willing to put
Blog Posts by Em and Lo
- Em and Lo | Work + Money – Fri, Oct 24, 2008 11:20 PM EDT
Getty ImagesRead More »from Advice from our guy friends: Should a woman not have sex on a first date?
Getty ImagesRead More »from How NOT to kiss in 20 steps
Sometimes it's easier to impart sexual technique by focusing on what NOT to do -- especially when it comes to something as variable as kissing, where there are so many different styles, techniques and preferences that many people enjoy. So by focusing on the negative -- the 20 things almost all people DON'T enjoy -- we hope to help you osculate with style. (Video: What makes or breaks a kiss?)
Whatever you do, DO NOT...
1 ... have bad breath or unclean teeth -- it's the equivalent of hooking up in underwear with skid marks.
2 ... lick your lips before going in -- this is not dinner.
3 ... drown your lips in gloss or lipstick.
4 ... tongue jab.
5 ... have chapped lips.
6 ... aim for their uvula with your tongue.
7 ... slobber all over your partner's face -- spit is cold and nasty when it gets outside your mouth.
8 ... make your tongue hard and pointy.
9 ... head straight for the boobs, the ass or the crotch as soon as the kissing commences.
10 ... immediately ram your tongue
Very rarely are other people's dreams interesting...except when they're about sex. This week dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tackles a spiritual "awakening":Read More »from Sex Dream Analysis: "I'm Sleeping with Jesus"
I find myself in dreams making passionate love to Jesus. What is wrong with me, and what does it mean? I say He's the Lover of my Soul and Provider and King. Am I trying to please Him as if He's my husband? It's not kinky sex, but erotic vivid love making. Should I pray for them to stop? I mean, what is my deal? I'm hoping I'm not CRAZY.
Is the devil messing with her head? Find out after the jump (right after you send us your own dreams!):
Lauri Loewenberg: Well, we're all passengers on the crazy train in our dreams so you're in good company! These dreams are simply the way your inner dreaming mind is expressing your passion for Jesus and his teachings. Sex, to the dreaming mind, is rarely about a physical union you desire but rather about an intellectual, emotional or -- in your case -- spiritual union that you need. No need to
Dear Em and Lo,Read More »from Ask Em & Lo: Oops, I forgot to use condoms
I've been sleeping with this guy for about three weeks, and our semi-non-relationship began the night after he broke up with his girlfriend of 8 months. We used a condom the first couple times, but then we stopped. I'm on the Pill and while I'm not worried about getting pregnant, I do have some other concerns...like is he going to pass off possible STDs from his ex-girlfriend to me at this point? And how do I go about asking him/making sure that he's not? Help!
Confused in College
First, we just want to thank you for writing to us with your concerns. We're sure you're worried, and we appreciate you trusting us enough with this very sensitive issue.
Next: WHAT THE heck ARE YOU DOING NOT USING CONDOMS?!?!?!? We can't tell you how wrong this is on so many levels. Actually, yes we can!...
The fact that you refer to this as a semi-non-relationship should be your first sign to use condoms. If it has not been established beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is
- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Wed, Oct 22, 2008 4:42 PM EDT
Remember Manties?Read More »from Advice from our guy friends: How to handle a guy's twin boys?
Advice from our guy friends. This week they answer the question, Can you share your tips/thoughts on testicle attention?
Married Straight Guy (Ben): There's a lot of hype around playing with the balls and I gotta tell you, it's all just a little, well, wrong. The balls are not the point. The scrotum surrounding the balls is the point. Anything you can do to stimulate the scrotum will feel amazing and that includes gently--very gently--playing with the things inside the scrotum. But those two big guys are extremely sensitive and if you're not careful it will suddenly feel like you've kicked your man in the nuts. Even if it is with your tongue. Better idea: focus on the scrotum--you can rub it, scratch it gently with your fingernails, lick it, bite it. Heck, if he likes it rough, you can twist it with your fingers, pinch it, really start to dig in. Just please, for all of us, stay away from the nuts inside. (What do you do if your sex life leaves you black and blue?)
Our inbox is overflowing and we'll never get to all the lonely hearts, so each week, one reader's fate will be left up to the masses. Answer this reader's question in the comments or by filling out this poll.
Dear Em & Lo,
I am a 48-year-old woman and I need to find a way to curb my sex drive. I presently do not have a partner. My relationship ended months ago. I try to take care of myself but it makes me crave human touch even more. I am not a one-night stand person and have only had two partners my entire life. I would be a lot better off if I could stop these raging hormones.
Related:What Sex Toys Can You Recommend for a Great-Grandmom?
MORE FROM DAILY BEDPOST AND GLAMOUR:
- Man-Handled: What To Do with Male Nipples?
- The body parts he secretly loves
- I had unprotected sex. Now what?
- Subscribe to Glamour right now and get an exclusive tote bag free!
- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Mon, Oct 20, 2008 5:56 PM EDT
Getty ImagesRead More »from LOVE HOROSCOPE: Seeing stars for the week of October 20th
aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
Everyone likes to embellish a little, to make their stories or themselves a little more interesting. We all do it. Suddenly that drunk make-out sesh you had with some random in the bathroom of a dive bar becomes a spontaneous three-way in the hot tub of a top-floor penthouse. Or that one time you volunteered at an old-folks' Bingo tournament sounds more like a 12-month tour of duty with the Peace Corps. Most of the time, it's harmless--and it helps get you laid. But beware, someone's bound to call bull ----- on you eventually--and more likely than not it will be the one person you really care for and want to screw. Then where will you be? Alone in the shower with your tears and your lies and your hand, that's where. (But when it comes to sex, is it ever ok to lie?)
taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
You know that person who's been on your mind lately, or since, like, forever? Well, it's not too late to approach them! The time for playing games is over (unless
- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Fri, Oct 17, 2008 7:31 PM EDT
Getty ImagesRead More »from Would you let your partner get a "happy ending" or is a h*ndjob actually your job?
There's a blog post on MomLogic.com this week about sanctioned extramarital h*ndjobs, titled "I Told My Husband to Get a 'Happy Ending.'" The subtitle tells you all you need to know: "I don't consider it cheating--and when he finally got his 'massage,' I was happy for him!" Big whoop, right? It was her idea, he enjoyed it, and it made her happy that he enjoyed it. Yay for making up your own rules when it comes to long-term monogamy! She's not exactly the first woman to give her man this kind of permission slip, and she's certainly not the first to write about it either--even two relative prudes like us wrote about considering the same thing back in 2005. (Our guys never took us up on the offer, so we never got to find out if we could be as open-minded in practice as in theory.)
Maybe you don't consider a "happy ending" cheating, but what about watching porn?
No, the real shocker is in the feedback section at the bottom of the page. The readers are PISSED OFF! Now, maybe this is what
Getty ImagesRead More »from How to sleep with a coworker
Sneaking into the unoccupied conference room on your lunch break...leaving dirty Polaroids under each other's keyboards...doing it on your boss's desk while he or she is in the Hamptons. Dipping your pen in the company inkwell may not be exactly encouraged in the modern workplace, but most of us have dipped at least once. It used to be that love on the clock was for the executive married man and his young female secretary only; these days, fortunately, we all have a shot at dating in the workplace. So here's how to do it right.
1. We mean it when we say "coworker." Sex between a boss and his or her underling involves far too many messy power dynamics which invariably get abused. Not to mention the inevitable resentment such insider trading stirs among the staff members who choose to keep their pants on. Stick with someone on the same rung of the corporate ladder. Even better if they're in a different department. (Video: Have You Ever Had Sex with a Co-Worker?)
2. Before making moony
- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Thu, Oct 16, 2008 6:25 PM EDT
Getty ImagesRead More »from Sex Dream Analysis: "My straight husband's cheating on me...with a dude."
Very rarely are other people's dreams interesting...except when they're about sex. This week dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tackles a cheating husband with a twist:
I too have been dreaming about my husband cheating on me lately. First (in the dreams) I'll realize that he's cheating on me and he seems unapologetic or at least unwilling to deal with me about it. But throughout the course of the dreams, somehow instead of a woman he's cheating with, it has turned out to be another man. It makes me both angrier and less bothered when I realize it. (I should also note that my husband has given me absolutely no reason whatsoever to EVER suspect that he's gay, and many of my gay guy friends agree, so it's not a real fear of mine.) Oh, and the last time I had this dream, I was also upset with him for making the choice to turn to a life of crime (in the dream). What does all of this mean?!?!
Does she have super-sensitive subconscious gaydar? Find out after the jump (right after you send us