Blog Posts by Em and Lo

We always thought that bad lighting, amateur acting, cringe-worthy dialogue and deep eighties styling were what was wrong with porn. And then we checked out PGPorn.tv and realized that when you take away the sex scenes, all that other stuff--you know, the "plot"--is actually hilariously entertaining. It also proves to us once again that what you don't see on screen is always a million times hotter than what you do. But hey, maybe that's just us. Seriously, we do get the joke, but when you watch the first episode, "Nailing Your Wife," and you know that there's no way these two are actually going to do it on screen, all that faux sexual tension and clumsily obvious double entendres are almost a little sexy. Or are we just smoking crack?

Related: We asked men and women alike: do women like porn?

MORE FROM DAILY BEDPOST AND GLAMOUR:

• Man-Handled: What To Do with Male Nipples?
• The body parts he secretly loves
• I had unprotected sex. Now what?
• Subscribe

Em & Lo,
I am a 68-year-old, single great-grandmother and I have been celibate for at least 20 years. Well, I've been getting urges and don't quite know what to do about them. I currently don't have any male companionship so I thought about toys. What would you suggest?

Yay! It's never too late to start treating yourself right. Since you're obviously computer savvy, we recommend visiting a female-friendly, online sex toy store like Babeland.com or Goodvibes.com. Once there, do a search for ergonomic toys (we linked these two stores' urls to their respective "ergonomic" search results pages to save you the trouble)--the results will almost always feature well-made, nicely designed toys, like Fun Factory's Delight (pictured above), that are easy to use and don't come in any cheap, offensive packaging.

Video: A trip to Babeland yields demos of unintimidating, kinky toys.

Take a look and think about what you'd like: external vibration, penetration, or both? Based on your answer to that

If you're a regular around here, you know that we're occasionally presumptuous enough to critique sex tips given out elsewhere on the web. Maybe we like having a dialogue with other advice columnists, or maybe we're just competitive biotches.

Dr. Catherine Hood over at the UK's Mirror answered the above question from a woman looking for Mr. Right this weekend like this:
"I can appreciate your worries. Virginity is a wonderful thing but can seem like a chain holding you back as you get older. The reality is there are many people like yourself and it's admirable that you've decided to wait until you're ready and trust a partner before you have sex. The right man will understand and appreciate you waiting, so being a virgin shouldn't hold you back."

Even if you're in a hurry to play your V-card, we wouldn't recommend auctioning off your virginity like this 22-year-old.
Maybe Hood is being held back by her limited word count, or her fear of getting sued, or her unhealthy

Getty Images
aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
Love is work. And work isn't always easy. Work takes time. And time is money. So yes, love costs, but in the end, it's usually worth it . . . especially if you get a good deal. (Love is hard, but here are ten amazing reasons to be in a relationship.)

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Don't even think about staying home, curling up with a good book and going to sleep early. You'll have enough time for rest when you're dead. In the meantime, take a healthy bite out of the big juicy peach of life, turn it up to 11, party like it's 1999, carpe diem, kick it into high gear--take whichever cliche you relate to most and run with it.

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
Someone pushy and manipulative is going to come into your life this week. Push back. Maybe they'll trip and fall into your bed...

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
This week, attend one of the following, whichever one suits your fancy most: a tree planting, a production of "Our Town" at your local Town Hall, a

You've seen 9 1/2 weeks, right? Em & Lo ask what you think about food and sex together.

And what better way to indulge your chocolate addiction than with sex? Here's a step-by-step guide to combining the best of both worlds!

MORE FROM DAILY BEDPOST AND GLAMOUR:

• Advice: How Can I Speed Up My Orgasm?
• 5 times your sexy to a man
• Advice: My Boyfriend's Hung Like a Horse... Help!
• Subscribe to Glamour right now and get an exclusive tote bag free!

Getty Images
We just got the press release for the results from a recent, totally unscientific. online survey held on Brides.com about sex and marriage. Here's our totally unscientific analysis of their 8 findings:

• "More than half (52%) of brides-to-be expect that their sex lives will improve after walking down the aisle." That's romantic, in a special helmet kind of way. But if the sex isn't good now, simply saying "I do" is not going to automatically turn you into Kama Sutra experts. Maybe they were just thinking about the honeymoon booty. (Married or not, these tips will heat up anyone's sex life!)
• "Before that walk, however, more than a third (37%) admit to fantasizing about 'another man' when in bed with their fiance." Could be a case of buyer's remorse setting in, but we prefer to think this is just an example of a healthy fantasy life--one that will serve the brides well during their marriage, when one's imagination becomes key in spicing things up.
• "A good number

Advice from our guy friends. This week they answer the question:

My boyfriend really wants me to have a threeway with him and another girl but I'm not sure. Part of me thinks it'd be fun, but part of me worries what it'd be like in real life: will it make me insanely jealous, will it make me a lesbian, will he expect it all the time? What do you think I should do?

Straight Single Guy (Max): You've never been with a girl, you're in a committed relationship with the guy involved and yet still, you're asking yourself if it's a good idea? Sorry, but no. I think you're just asking for trouble. Now don't get me wrong, I encourage you to have a threesome and I strongly encourage you to experiment with other women but this scenario sounds like a disaster. Threesomes should be casual, safe, and comfortable. This won't be. While he might enjoy watching you with another woman and while I assure you that kissing girls is WAY better than kissing guys (no offense to any that disagree), ask yourself

Getty Images
Most people don't talk about booty calls. That's part of their appeal: "We don't have to endlessly com-mu-ni-cate because we're not in a serious relationship." People rely on a tacit understanding when it comes to casual sex with their friends and neighbors, and especially their exes. But it's silly to assume that everyone "understands" the exact same set of personal guidelines. The implicit, unlegislated booty call is a complicated procedure, due to varying agendas, the likelihood of miscommunication, and the chance of emotional intimacy. The smart people know that without rules, there are expectations, and those, by definition, make things messy. Even if you don't think you have any expectations, that in itself is an expectation: That you not expect anything of me, that you not sleep over, that you not get mad if I don't call you back. So let's once and for all manage those expectations with The 25 Rules of the Modern Booty Caller:


1. Separate sex from love.
2. You don't need to