Blog Posts by Tina Tessina

Think you know how to handle being dumped? Surprise! It has less to do with "communication" than you think.


DO put it in perspective If you're dumped, it hurts. But count your lucky stars. You don't have a relationship if the other person's not really interested.

DO understand that there were problems already It's never easy to find out that your relationship-whether long or short-is over. Once bonded, even if the relationship is terrible, both men and women have trouble breaking away. So if you're dumped, the other person really wanted out.

DON'T idealize a bad relationship In counseling people who got dumped, every client realized the warning signs that were ignored early in the relationship. Don't pick out the few good moments you remember and ignore what wasn't working.

DO try to learn from the experience After the initial upset, review the dynamics of the relationship and analyze what went wrong, what you could have done differently, and what you learned. There's no need to give

Dear Dr. Romance:


I'm at a loss as to what to do. I'm married to a man that I sleep in the same bed (our daughterco-sleeps with us) with but other than that not much else. We are in our thirties, and we've been married about two years but have been living togetherfor longer. In the beginning it was great, even after we got married we spent most of our time together. I got pregnant and we lost our first little girl when I was 8 months pregnant, and a couple months later I got pregnant with our little girl who's now two. Since I got pregnant the second time he's really distanced me. When he comes home from work he goes directly to his computer and plays games until we eat dinner,then he goes straight back to the games. On the weekend he goes out to play sports every Saturday while I watch our daughter and on Sundays he's usually working as well. The only things we do together are shopping and dinner, and he usually watches a movie while we eat.


I just feel so lonely. It wouldn't be so

The only peace that can be safely sustained is peace that begins at home within the boundaries of your inner self.Dr. Romance writes: This is often called the Season of Peace, as in "Peace on Earth; Good Will to Men." Yet there is so much unrest in the world today: we are still in at least two wars, terrorism seems to be endemic worldwide, and domestic violence and hatred still dominate the news. Today's world needs more people living peace.

While it's easy to talk about, living peace isn't so easy to do. It requires learning to wage peace in our own lives. "We teach best what we most need to learn," writes Richard Bach in Illusions. That's because we are subconsciously focused on what gives us trouble; and motivated to learn about it. For example, if lack of peace (anxiety, rage, addiction or relationship hassles) is a problem, your life will constantly face you with the need to learn to be more calm. Anyone who does not meet your expectations can trigger agitation of one sort or another, and internal agitation evokes a negative reaction.
In my counseling office, I'm constantly reminded of how