Just last week, on Valentine's Day no less, Page Six ran a story in which they claimed that preternaturally beautiful Oscar hopefuls Lupita Nyong'o and Jared Leto were romantically entangled-employing the page's usual terminology for such items ("getting close," "cozying up"). And it seemed to make a lot of sense! They both look like works of art; they can lean on each other as they endure the ups and downs of this awards season; and they're both frontrunners in their respective categories, which gives the pairing a Prom King and Queen vibe.
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But, lo, as she does, Miley Cyrus has appeared to complicate matters. Us Weekly has shaken up the Internet-nay, the foundation upon which the nation stands-this morning, running an exclusive with this headline: "Miley Cyrus, Jared Leto 'Are Hooking Up,' Love Talking Art, Music." Jesus, Us, give us a chance to catch our breath; there is so much to unpack here, and