fish caught on hookFor anyone one feather tickler short of a 150 Shades of Play kit, the below is satire and not intended for actual use (kind of like edible underwear):
Still single, ladies? Well you can kiss your cat-lady status goodbye! Follow these five simple dating tips and you'll never be alone again! Because a loser guy is better than no guy at all. Amen to that!
- Dress to impress. If you've got it, flaunt it. You can't expect a man to go for what you've got without visually sampling some of the goods first. Besides, the more body conscious your outfit, the less you need to rely on your personality to do the heavy lifting on the date. And whatever you do, make sure you always wear high -- we're talking stiletto -- heels: the minuscule sliming effects they'll have on your legs is sooooo worth the corns, blisters, back and joint pain, and the inability to walk like a normal human that you might suffer. Anything for love!
- Always let him pay. We've come a long way, baby. But