Divorce is a big deal. Don't do it before considering the answers to these four questions.Whether it's Katie Holmes, Danny DeVito or Amy Poehler, celebrity divorces and breakups continue to make front-page news. Unfortunately, the average couple doesn't fare much better: approximately every other relationship is now bound for a breakup.
More from YourTango: 21 Undeniable Benefits Of Being Divorced
As a therapist, I'm not one to recommend staying in hurtful relationships, let alone abusive ones, but I do believe that women contemplating divorce will benefit from looking at the issue carefully from all sides. Here's my list of top four questions to consider before filing for divorce:
1. What will I lose? Divorce means big change. It's a big deal; income, health insurance, homes - spouses come with a whole slew of things.
Can I make it on my own? Am I willing to make the sacrifices? Which friends will I likely not see again? Would I have sufficient social contacts or would I have to start over from scratch?
These may not be the deciding factors for you, but do take the time
- YourTango.com | Love + Sex – Thu, Nov 8, 2012 3:36 PM EST
Divorce is a big deal. Don't do it before considering the answers to these four questions.Whether it's Katie Holmes, Danny DeVito or Amy Poehler, celebrity divorces and breakups continue to make front-page news. Unfortunately, the average couple doesn't fare much better: approximately every other relationship is now bound for a breakup.Read More »from 4 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Filing for Divorce
- SelfishRomance.com | Love + Sex – Thu, Nov 8, 2012 3:34 PM EST
Beth lay in the chaise lounge on her veranda hoping for a moment to herself. That thought alone caused the tears to stream down her face, again. Three years married and what had happened, she thought. She let her mind drift back to her dreams of being married to Carl: having their own home, decorating it the way they had enthusiastically discussed, camping and kayaking together on weekends, taking a couple's cooking course, sleeping late on Saturdays, and lazily making love on their private veranda . . ..
The phone rang. Beth wiped the tears from her eyes, took a deep sigh and reached for the phone. It was her mother, whose voice she had come to hate. "Beth dear, when you go to the market today, would you pick up my laundry? What time will Carl be here to mow the lawn? We've invited Aunt Carrie and her kids to your cookout tomorrow night so please pick up more steaks at the market. Oh, guess what I got you dear! You're going to love it. A new antique clock for your bedroom. ItRead More »from How to Have the Relationship of Your Own Dreams . . . and Not Others’ Dreams for You!
- Bridal Guide | Love + Sex – Thu, Nov 8, 2012 3:01 PM EST
Take a look back at the most popular wedding trends, from attire to reception décor to cakes, starting in the early 1900s.More from Bridal Guide:
- The Seven Deadly Bridal Sins
- 40+ Gorgeous Tall Centerpieces
- 10 Commandments for a Happy Marriage
- The Most Popular Wedding Photos of All Time
- Incredibly Creative Themed Engagement Photos
Lovers I was married for a long time before my divorce in 2010. But at only 42 years old, I knew there was no way I wouldn't be in a relationship ever again. Or at least I'd hoped that wasn't true.Read More »from Is There a Better Word for Boyfriend?
So now (as projected) I have a boyfriend. Although being my age and referring to someone as "my boyfriend" seems weird. He's not a boy--he's fifty. That's like the exact opposite of a boy. And when I introduce him to new people I always stutter during said introduction. "This is, er, uh, my boyfriend." It all feels very junior high. Really, it's almost embarrassing. The bigger question though: Why hasn't anyone invented a word for that person who isn't your husband but who also isn't passing you notes between class periods?
(I just realized this might be considered a first-world problem and not exactly what people around the globe worry about.)
Related: 11 hilarious tips for undressing in front of your lover (circa 1937)
I've tried using other terms.
Man friend sounds stupider than boyfriend.
Renee Trilivas, Allure magazine
Oh, hell no. That's what I thought when I recently stumbled on a how-to video for men about how, and why, to wear nail polish. We've all seen guys who lacquer up on occasion, for reasons that probably have more to do with youthful rebellion than wanting to look their best. But according to this promotional clip for a nail polish line called Alpha Nail, coloring your nails is also a good way to pick up women.
See more: Top 21 Drugstore Beauty Bargains
I do give the brand props for putting the polish in click-pen dispensers-I'm thinking big man hands aren't the most dexterous with little brushes and goopy lacquers. But I can't forgive them for altering the polish names to sound more masculine. Even if you call it nail armor and describe the colors as Concrete, Smoke, or Gasoline, it's still nail polish.Read More »from Would You Date a Man Who Wears Nail Polish?
See more: The 6 Most Flattering Haircuts for Round Faces
It's all way over-the-top for my taste. Women are attracted to guys who take care of
For most couples, sex, post-baby is...well....different. Juggling family, career, baby feedings, and functioning on very little can take a toll on intimacy. But according to Dr. Jennifer Ashton, OB-GYN and author of the new book, “Your Body Beautiful”, a slimmed down sex life is completely normal when a new baby enters the house. In fact, says Dr. Ashton, you may not be interested in sex at all when baby first comes home. The reasons for this can be: physical, emotional and/or psychological. “The fact of the matter is, your partner has to share you. If it’s your first baby, he or she may not be the center of your universe anymore and it’s going to take a toll.” Complete exhaustion from a lack of sleep can also contribute to a pared down sex life, and Dr. Ashton says that's very common.
(Related: Breastfeeding Questions You're Afraid To Ask)
If you're wondering when most couples resume intimacy after a baby is born, the time is actually quite varied. When polled, some of our ShineRead More »from Is your baby ruining your sex life?
- Astrology.com Tarot | Love + Sex – Thu, Nov 8, 2012 11:48 AM EST
The Three of Swords card suggests that dwelling on past pain, heartbreak or loss leaves you vulnerable to further attack or reopens old wounds. It can ultimately consume you, particularly if it is your own heart that has betrayed you. Thoughts of getting even will make things worse. Taking each betrayal or loss too personally becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy so that when you do finally let down your guard and trust again, you find yourself embroiled in the same emotional drama you vowed to avoid. Being on the defensive or carrying a chip on your shoulder practically ensures tension or wounded pride and your self-esteem may suffer as a result. Certain loss is irrevocable. The ensuing crisis can be a turning point for your relationship or love life, but only if you are willing to let go and take a chance.
- GALTime.com | Love + Sex – Thu, Nov 8, 2012 8:52 AM EST
By Luba Tolkachyov for GalTime.com
No more duck lips! Finding that special someone can be frustrating, and many people use online dating and matchmaking sites to open up doors to new possibilities. There are literally millions of people out there looking for their soulmates, and an online profile might help them find you!
Here are some tips on how you can maximize your profile - and find someone great.
LOVE ISN'T ALWAYS SIMPLE, BUT YOUR DATING PROFILE SHOULD BE
Writing your online profile shouldn't feel like a college assignment. It should be a brief, natural extension of your own personality. A lot of people are reading dozens of profiles, so you want to communicate who you are as quickly as possible. Help your readers learn whether they have something in common with you as easily as possible.
When you're sharing information, simply ask yourself, "Can I sum this up in five words?" Most likely, you can and should; theRead More »from "No More Duck Lips!" and Other Rules of Great Dating Profiles
- SoCalResident | Love + Sex – Wed, Nov 7, 2012 11:42 PM EST
I can't take it any more.Read More »from Who Else Here is Sick of Shine's Stupid Articles? Raise Your Hand
I can't take it anymore. I used to love visiting Yahoo Shine.... I miss our "family" of commenters, fans, fun times we had when things were simple and anonymous.
Okay, so I've also started working part-time and have quit the dating game (temporarily), but where has all the love gone? It seems like the comments are now full of misogynists, intolerable A-holes who think that life ends by the time you hit 40.
Here's news for you folks: we 40-something women are doing great. And I say that from a soulful perspective. I may struggle financially-- who of us doesn't? But I'm so "complete" as a single woman; I could cry from joy to be given a second chance in life.
With that said, here's what makes me sad about the "new" Yahoo Shine:
Posts about wedding planning. Oh geez-- I know people are still going about by way of the dinosaur by walking down the isle, but seriously, do you need to dedicate tons and TONS of articles on wedding planning, flowers, cakes, fluff, most embarrassing wedding
There are advantages to waiting out your twenties and thirties."Marriage is more than finding the right person. It is being the right person." -UnknownRead More »from The Benefits of Marrying Later in Life
More from YourTango: 7 Most Outdated Myths About Love
I used to wonder if I would ever find true love. When I was in college, I thought I'd be married by the time I was 25. When 27 rolled around, I thought I would get married in my early 30s. Then I thought I'd be married by the time I was 35 years old. In hindsight, it's easy to see why it took so long for "the one" to find me and me to find "the one." I wasn't being the person I needed to be in order to have the love I desired.
I focused on my career for so long, assuming that my love life would fall into place. When I was in my late 30s, I began to understand that having a successful love life required conscious effort and focus. This was the beginning of many firsts: focusing more on my love life than my professional life, understanding the unhealthy relationship patterns I was repeating, learning to love myself and accepting my self-worth.
- 10 Self-Help Books for the New GenerationMon, Feb 4, 2013 6:38 PM EST
- Do You Have the Most Vivid Memories from Your Life from Age 15 to 25?Tue, Feb 5, 2013 11:35 AM EST
- Is Your Gym Making You Sick?Tue, Feb 5, 2013 10:10 AM EST
- Better Together: 4 Reasons Why I'm Glad My Kids Share a RoomTue, Feb 5, 2013 2:51 PM EST
- Is Lisa Ling's Father a Pothead?Tue, Feb 5, 2013 3:29 PM EST
- Nerding Out in Nature: One Smart Phone. Two Kids. Tons of FunTue, Feb 5, 2013 3:07 PM EST
- PHOTOS: The Best Chevron Wedding DetailsTue, Feb 5, 2013 1:42 PM EST
- Roadblocks to Intimacy--and How to Get Around ThemMon, Feb 4, 2013 6:50 PM EST
- How to Conquer Your 10 Biggest Marriage FearsFri, Feb 22, 2013 3:23 PM EST
- Curtis Stone's Top Recipes for a Stress-Free Holiday PartyTue, Dec 3, 2013 1:51 PM EST
- This is Our New Favorite Roast ChickenTue, Dec 3, 2013 3:26 PM EST
- Wait, What? According to New Study Most Extra Virgin Olive Oils Are Fa …Tue, Dec 3, 2013 5:43 PM EST