Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes - ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.)
aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Don't look now, but - hey, we said don't look! Geez, sometimes you're about as subtle as a sneeze in church. Anyway, as we were saying, just over there in the corner, someone has their eye on you. We think they might be about to make their move. Avoid staring them down or otherwise scaring them off (e. g. sudden jerky motions, dramatic lifestyle changes, a new haircut) and you should find yourself being seduced very soon.
taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) So maybe you've got a month of dirty laundry, sixty-four hours of unwatched Tivo television, and a stack of unpaid bills at home. But this is not the week to hide your light under a bushel (or a load of laundry). You've got it all going on: great hair week, clear skin, zero water retention - all thatRead More »from Your Love Life Horoscopes: 03-03-14