Can beautiful girls become Cool Broads?

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  Posted by MochaMama42 Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:22am PDT

  I am the mother of a beautiful daughter; if she weren't my daughter, I would definitely be drawn to her pretty, waist length hair, sweet smile, and how she just seems to float on air when she walks. People share that observation with us ALL the time; at the Mall, CVS, gas station, very unsual places. I remember I worked at a local bank while pregnant with her, and when she was about 8 months old, we were entering Target,and someone who remembered me from coming in the bank said, "OH, that's the bank lady that was pregnant - - and her baby is like a DOLL".

  I take it in stride; growing up ,my looks were NEVER mentioned. I was intelligent, and that was what people always commented on. I was the 11th grade homecoming queen, a cheerleader,active with student government in high school, but my looks were just NOT a major concern.

  One of the parents at the elementary school my daughter attends volunteered to me that she thought my daughter was beautiful, but what she liked most was that no matter how pretty she was, she was always kind, outgoing, she played with boys and girls and was just a joy to be around. She didn't worry about her looks, she still played , got dirty, got on the monkey bars even when she had a cast; it was very re-freshing to people and that made her more beautiful in her eyes.

  I guess I'm saying all that to say, of course, I share with my daugther how beautiful I think she is, however, her character has always been stressed over her looks. I do that for my son as well, who is quite handsome and charming, and they are both considered very cool by their respective peers.

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  Posted by marvin and mimi Thu Sep 25, 2008 2:26pm PDT

  A cool broad is fun, honest, edgy, confidant, and not does have to look like a freaking Barbie doll. My daughter is a cool broad, cause she came from her cool broad, Me, Mom

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  Posted by NRF Thu Sep 25, 2008 3:08pm PDT

  When I was growing up, people would tell my mom how beautiful I was and how I should be in beauty pageants and be a model, etc. My mom, my relatives, and friends would always tell me that. I think it does boost your confidence and ego in a way, but may also be unhealthy because people have put all that pressure on you to be attractive. And sometimes, teens may take that and make it their main focus instead of concentrating on their inner self and other internal qualities. But it all depends on the person.

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  Posted by G Thu Sep 25, 2008 6:01pm PDT

  Both my son and daughter are very beautiful but I never felt the need to make it an issue on a regular basis. My son was approached by The Ford Agency as a young man but he had no interest at all to show himself off. He is aware of his appearance but doen't seem to focus on it all that much. He is much more of a thinker . My daughter also is aware of her looks but she's just a regular person. They both seem to have a healthy view and are'nt ego maniacs about their looks.

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  Posted by ℒilly♥ℬ Thu Sep 25, 2008 6:40pm PDT

  This is really deep! BUT SO TRUE!

  My neighbor adopted a girl from China... She's absolutely stunning... And 6! But, we can't tell her! We aren't allowed to because this is exactly what my neighbor doesn't want to happen to her!

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  Posted by Nebu Adaku Thu Sep 25, 2008 7:29pm PDT

  why is this topic so interesting? All your saying is outside beauti but how about the inside? How about other qualities that makes him or her, her about the temperaments and personalities? I think the inner beauti is much more better than out side beauti. Example, parish hilton is cute on the face but does the outside match the inside? Well, there better things to be teaching out children than telling them every day they are beautiful which we should but should not let it be the center of everything else. Thanks.

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  Posted by mikyap Thu Sep 25, 2008 8:30pm PDT

  I also have a 6-year old daughter who is always commented on for her looks.We have been approached several times to let her join beauty contests for kids but my husband and I are opposed to this idea. I always tell my daughter that we would be happy if she will join singing contests (she has a beautiful voice) or declamation contests because those are considered real talents. I don't want my daughter to grow up being vain or overly conscious about her looks.

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  Posted by lovelydiva77 Thu Sep 25, 2008 8:49pm PDT

  I think it's important when raising kids to teach your kids how to value personality, intelligence, and the way one treats others over physical appearance. Everyone always notices physical appearance first and whether someone is attractive (or not) but fewer people learn to look deeper for inner beauty and having something to offer beyond mere physical appearance. I think it's important to raise your kids to look for this in others he/she encounters. We're bombarded with enough messages about what we should aspire to look like...Let's teach our kids to value something else.

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  Posted by vlvolove Thu Sep 25, 2008 9:42pm PDT

  Let's dig a little deeper? What if you had a daughter that was 13 with "a pretty face" but was heavy? I don't mean size 8 heavy but a real muffin top belly? Would you encourage her to "love" herself the way she is? knowing that NO MATTER how wrong it is, she will still be discriminated against? Where would you draw the line at getting healthy and moving vs. living up to societies ideal?

  We white women could really benefit from our black sisters when it comes to loving curves. Black women have a much higher level of confidence about their bodies and their sexy curves... how do you raise a child to not give in to the "size zero" pressure and be fit without inspiring an eating disorder?

  People (especially other kids) ARE going to judge on looks.... As harsh as it sounds it is true.... Where is the balance?

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  Posted by Tonya Fri Sep 26, 2008 3:56am PDT

  Since I was little, I've been told how beautiful I was, by family members, teachers, my friend's parents, and strangers. I believe that the only reason that no adverse effects (vanity or conciet) came of that was because I was always told how smart and talented I was as well as being pretty. The same way a child will believe they are "stupid, or ugly" if told all the time, they will also believe the wonderful things a loving, supporting family drills into their kids. I am always surprised when a person thinks it's okay to say to me "I thought you would be stuck up but you're a really cool person".There is nothing wrong with being pretty and knowing it. The problem is people who think their prettiness make them any better than anyone else. It is also with people who give more aesthetically appealing people special favors based purely on looks. Why do so many people take notice of my "coolness" when, as far as I can see, I'm behaving just like anyone else? Could it be because of beauty? Why am I expected to be mean or shallow or an airhead or a slut immediately on sight without the same benefit of the doubt that most people get,but when I prove to be a normal person, that's special? Most of the people who make an issue of that sort of thing are hippocrites.

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