Dear Urban Outfitters,
We've been together for a long time (Where would I be without your ruffly, pubescent panties and your signature tank circa 1998? I'd be in No-Boyfriend Town, that's where.), and I care about you, UO, I really do. So let me give you some advice: Don't make weird, freakishly cheap-looking, ironic (?) ads about towns you don't understand. I don't even know where to begin with this new Brooklyn store poster. I can see it working in, say, Cleveland or Marfa or any place where people don't know that the Domino Sugar Factory is in Wiiliamsburg, the L train goes to Canarsie, the Beasties Boys' Paul's Boutique was filmed on the Lower East Side, Mr. Kotter hasn't lived here since 1979—AND NONE OF THIS IS ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR NEW STORE.
Love,
Jennifer Romolini
