Sean Gallup/Getty Images
The Pretty:
Dita von Teese. Wow.
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
If I was model Petra Nemcova, and I wanted to
get my former boyfriend Sean Penn's attention
(who has since gone back to his wife), I would
wear something exactly like this.
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
Eric Ryan/Getty Images
I'm not entirely crazy about Diane Kruger's hair,
(take out the bobby pins! Be free!) but her dress
is really beautiful.
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
Mary J. Blige thought of everything
with this look—the dress is old-school
feminine but the accessories are kind
of tough.
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
Julia Ormond is back! And she's wearing a sexy,
Old-Hollywood-worthy emerald green dress.
Sean Gallup/Getty Images
The Confusing:
Where do I even start with Madonna's getup?
Let's see, she's got an amazing body and this totally
covers it up. And it looks shredded. In a bad way.
It also looks like something Cher would wear. Which is fine for
Cher, but totally confusing for Madonna.
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
I love Michelle Williams and that is why I think she's
better than a wash-you-out, kind of frumpy,
ivory lace dress.
Francois Durand/Getty images
Rose McGowan's swirly gown looks like something
a cartoon skunk might wear to a formal event, if say,
cartoon skunks wore dresses.
Kristian Dowling/Getty Images
Wait. Why is Star Jones at Cannes?
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
I can't even tell if Sharon Stone's dress is bad,
I'm too distracted by the confusing thing it's
doing to her boobs.
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
Maybe this is rude, but I refuse to accept Natalie
Portman's superhero/origami thing as a garment of
clothing. Next.
Eric Ryan/Getty Images
Milla Jovovich lost all of her baby weight and
her body looks incredible. And yet...something
has gone horribly wrong in a kind of Punky-Brewster-
gets-dressed-up way here.
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
The Sad:
Who is this woman? And does this not resemble
something a stripper would rip off mid-dance to reveal
her foxy lamé bra and thong?
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
How many times do I have to tell you people
that throwing on a lace skirt over your swimsuit
does not an outfit make? Bad, Eva Herzigova!
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
Related:
