Instrumentaljamlord::
I: Funny you should mention thorough reading, Chanel. The blog poster, Annette, expresses the exact idea I'm responding to: discomfort with cuddling with anyone **other than someone highly intimate,** like a sexual partner. It's there in black and white, paragraph 2. Right after the sentence you quote. Basically between "skeeved out" and "get busy with." Find it yet?
C: *** I addressed the concept of cuddling with “ANYONE” and that it is skeeved, more specifically actually….I speak of cuddling being “intimate” as in a intimate form of display of affection, and of course people would take the most obvious of examples (boy/girlfriend) to prove the point (that’s the black and white for you dear), nothing in regards to “someone highly intimate”***
I: In addition several of the comments repeat that general idea. Then there are some that just take a pretty dim view of the phenomenon in general, using words like "ridiculous". If you can't distill any "this is wrong" from all those words, it's not me who is skimming.
C: *** Yes, there are people who take a “dim” view so allow me to shed some light for you. More onto cuddling being intimate, it is a controversial notion of course or else we would not be having this discussion. We are discussing this under the assumption that there is a lack of affectionate contact. “It's intended to be a way to get a little quality affection without all the nakedness and such,” per Annette. Affection in this sense stems from multifaceted emotion: love. Love by or current today code of morality, is considered precious, valuable, private, intimate, etc.***
I: Now, if you want to discuss concepts: Regarding your argument "...that is what your significant other (children, family, friends, pets, etc) is for..."
First, my family is not "for" satisfying my touch needs. They are real people who interact with me, not some sort of touch vending machine I can go to to get my touch needs met. If anything, I'm the one to be providing my children with a lap and a storybook, a hug over a skinned knee, or a snuggle and kiss goodnight at bedtime.
C: *** Now this one was a cute but a mute point:
So, these REAL people, your family, “they are not FOR satisfying my touch needs” they do not satisfy any of your touch needs then? “They are real people who interact with me, not some sort of touch vending machine I can go to to get my touch needs met. If anything, I'm the one to be providing,” therefore by consequence since they are not for your touch needs and do not provide you with so, in fact you are the one providing would make you the “vending machine,” right? Because you do not feel the least bit satisfied when you are cuddling with your child, reading them a bedtime story… but were you not a child once, as you so clearly illustrated “a hug over a skinned knee” is something you would provide. You are the satisfier of touch needs, but never needed it yourself once or now? That pretty much shows, that touch needs are not limited to intimates, and CAN be sought through family, friends, etc.
I: Second, some people don't have family. What are you going to do, suggest they get eight cats instead of just one?
C: ***Get 8 cats if you want, I don’t care. The point is that this “touch need” can be satisfied through a variety of ways, depending on your mood, and if you want more than you’ll have to do more to get it. Nothing good comes easy in life. For the unfortunate people who do not have family, going to a cuddling fest will only superficially fill their cuddle-deprived voids. Are you saying instead, of working on one self and forming REAL QUALITY relationships that would provide you with these needs, that these people are better off going to cuddle fest and getting a quick fix?***
I: Third, and most important, why SHOULD touch be limited to close intimates only? You say that it is, but you don't say WHY.
C: *** Touch is not limited to close intimates (i.e. husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend), it is just directly linked to intimacy, (i.e. you can express such with, friends, family, pets, lovers, etc.). The whole reason people would want to go to these fest are for some “quality affection,” mass producing this contradicts its very definition that it is something special/intimate. How special would “cuddling” be if you didn’t have to work for it, because you could get it anywhere, anytime, with anyone?***
