Food

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Europeans do it better: Birthdays

Americans love birthdays. But we do it all wrong. We set up elaborate parties, make others pay for our meals and gifts, and create a whole hooplah that never quite feels as satisfying as we hope it will be. The Germans on the other hand, have it down.

Here’s what I’ve learned from the Germans on celebrating birthdays, that has made for some of the best, most surprising and fulfilling birthdays ever.

1) Go to work on your birthday. While it may seem strange to have to put yourself to work on your birthday, it actually gets you lots of attention and love from your friends and co-workers, especially if you follow rule #2.

2) Make your own damn cake. Don’t wait for anyone else to make it-- come to school or work with the goods. The Germans are firm on this one, in fact, if you don’t bring your own bakes on your birthday, you’ll find your colleagues and friends very disappointed.

3) If you are going out to dinner with friends, pick up the tab. Yes, it’s nice to be treated to a meal. But, it also puts a lot of expectation and demands on your friends and family. Instead, by adopting this custom, you are in essence choosing where and how you want to celebrate, and with whom. You’d be surprised how satisfying it can be to pick up your own birthday tab (or let your significant other!).

4) Don’t wait to celebrate on the night of your birthday! While the Germans are extremely superstitious about celebrating their birthdays before the actual day, they often celebrate going IN to the birthday, instead of coming out. They’ll often start at the strike of midnight with their friends and family gathered round a nice glass of champagne. That way, no matter what happens the rest of your birthday, you’ve gotten the year off to a fabulous start.

While these traditions are very different from American birthday rituals, they offer a refreshing break from the awkward birthday-expectations we often set that can result in disappointment. And they are fun! What other birthday traditions do you know of?

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Comments 1-10 of 25
  • nanometer's Avatar
    Posted by nanometer Thu May 1, 2008 11:55pm PDT

    I practice almost all of these, finding the celebrating the day before the best one. It seems weird to most people in the US, but that's something my family has been doing forever. My friends in high school and college loved it, waiting for the birtday to start! Some kept the tradition, and they still love it. I really enjoyed at one of my jobs, everybody but the birthday person would pay for the cake, so it was like 1 dollar, it was voluntary but everybody participated. It gave a sense of community and friendship to the workplace.

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  • valerie w's Avatar
    Posted by valerie w Fri May 2, 2008 12:44pm PDT

    There is so much pressure on birthdays to buy buy buy! I agree with celebrating this way, you get to do what YOU want on your birthday and is that not what this is all about. BTW I am german!

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  • athlon's Avatar
    Posted by athlon Fri May 2, 2008 12:49pm PDT

    These customs are similar to that of asian customs. Maybe because they conquered most of the countries over there. We do this customs when celebrating our birthdays.

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  • Beth Eachus's Avatar
    Posted by Beth Eachus Fri May 2, 2008 12:54pm PDT

    I think that you should throw a party on your birthday as a thank you to all the wonderful people in your life. And if you plan and host it then it will be exactly the party that you want! (Our friends from Australia do this...)

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  • mikewofsey's Avatar
    Posted by mikewofsey Fri May 2, 2008 12:55pm PDT

    I like this too.

    I took this a step further. Several years ago I was laid off from my job, with two weeks notice. But it seemed unfair to me that the people who voluntarily left would be given parties by coworkers, but not the people who were laid off. We weren't lepers after all, and we didn't do anything illegal, so why should we have to slink off into the night? Why should we have to leave without a celebration and without getting to say goodbye to our friends? After all, it seems that a person that is laid off needs the party MORE than someone who is excited to start a new job.

    So I did what the article suggested here: I bought snacks, veggie platter, the whole bit, sent word, and on my last day my coworkers and I celebrated for a few minutes. I had a good time, but a lot of my coworkers had a guilty look on their face, as if they were the ones that gave the lay-off order for me. Of course they didn't but it's strange, at a company, when someone you know gets laid-off, you can't help but feel pity and even a tiny bit of disdain for that person. Weird.

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  • tange71's Avatar
    Posted by tange71 Fri May 2, 2008 12:55pm PDT

    i celebrate my birthday ,with the first thing going to the church to thank God for the day I was born having family around and friends with good food, I dont let friends bring foods for my b day just everything out from my pocket

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  • thess111's Avatar
    Posted by thess111 Fri May 2, 2008 1:00pm PDT

    I am from Sweden and it's the same thing there.

    I've been in the states for 13years and I make my cake and bring it to work here as well and people always get confused saying" you shouldn't bring in your cake". I think it's a great thing to do :):):)

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  • ER29's Avatar
    Posted by ER29 Fri May 2, 2008 1:03pm PDT

    I am English and same as Germany, we always " supply " a cake for our work colleagues, seem's odd to me now that I am relocated to the US that it's not the same......

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  • SIA's Avatar
    Posted by SIA Fri May 2, 2008 1:09pm PDT

    If you bake your own cake then you can be sure you will probably eat it!

    I have quite a few food allergies and it's better for me to bake it myself anyhow.

    I prefer to spend time with friends rather than worry about money.

    It is nice to prepare a meal also-that can feel more intimate than eating out.

    Getting fired is never fun- but it can be a blessing in disguise- to me it means there's something better waiting just around the corner.

    Since I am a tarot reader and my birthday falls on the old Irish New Year- I often read from all of my decks for the coming year.

    Money comes and goes but spending time with loved ones is priceless. (sorry, Mastercard!)

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  • cs's Avatar
    Posted by cs Fri May 2, 2008 1:10pm PDT

    Always send flowers to your mother on your birthday, and I don't have to tell you why!

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