Microbrews - Outdoorsy, mellow. Totally great, but here's hoping he's pro-deodorant.
Vodka Gimlet - Will you be attending the renaissance festival this year?
Scotch - Sophisticated if it's a nightcap. If it's his signature drink, he's likely a brooding artist, writer or older man. But if he's super specific, as in, "Macallan, 12 year, 2-4 cubes," he's anal retentive but he will take good care of you.
Sherry - Let me guess, you went to a "small school in Cambridge?"
Margarita on the Rocks - You're hot.
Frozen Margarita - You're not.
Rusty Nail - He's either a very dry and ironic hipster (not likely) or your actual father.
Greyhound - Do our grandparents vacation in the vineyard together? More importantly, can I borrow your belt with the little boats on it? He probably looks like one of these two dudes.
Hefeweizen - Hot, hot. Mainstream enough that he's not trying too hard but unique enough to give him creative cred.
Appletini - Non-starter, just like men in sandals - (btw, flip flops are fine, it's the horizontal strap that we're worried about.)
Martini - Sophisticated and trustworthy. You'll get along just fine with the family. If however, he's going for the James Bond thing, get ready for bad movie quotes and potential spontaneous Sinatra ballads.
Bloody Mary - One: the poor guy is hung over. Two to three: Hello, my name is X, and...
Moijito - There's no "mojo" in mojito but right place, right time is absolutely fine and points for creativity.
Long Island Iced tea - You're probably going dutch tonight.
Manishevitz - He's got jdate streaming from his blackberry
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale - What's up, outward bound graduate? Cool that you have that dead bootleg and hopefully you've got a few more valuables these days.
Sangria - Tell me all about your semester abroad. You may know more than I do about everything but hey, you're hot, sexy and smart, I'm in!
Red Stripe - We get it, you've been to Jamaica.
Guinness - The good news: he doesn't do mani/pedis. The bad: he'll kill you at darts.
Sam Adams - He's willing to spend a little more for something of higher quality but he's not snooty. An everyday, approachable guy who likes comfort. You may be the future father of our children. This guy drinks Sam Adams, for sure.
Sake - Right place, right time as in a Japanese restaurant.
Saki-tini - Never a right place or right time.
Cider beers - Keep it in the paper bag unless you're in the dorms.
Really Popular Microbrew That Everyone Knows - He's mellow, yet too hard-working to take an actual interest in something as non-productive as beer.
Bud - Yawn, but we'd take this over a frou frou fruity concoction any day.
Old Milwaukee's Best - Why is he wearing a NASCAR jacket if he doesn't race? Ah, got it…it's because his tee had yellow sweat stains on it and he's being polite.
Whiskey Sour - Potential mommy issues.
Corona - We're not in Cabo, Toto.
Vodka Tonic - Solid choice.
Egg Nog - Listen buddy, Santa is not coming to town tonight.
Champagne - He's a major metro (think Prada and mani/pedi) unless he's just following your lead or celebrating.
White wine - Absolutely fine. Just beware of any overly girly vibes i.e. this dude...
Any kind of spritzer - run! And if you need some running away ideas, check this out.
Gin and Tonic - You're a great combination of serious and fun. You love scrabble, reading the paper, you're handy and you appreciate the fine things in life like Wham's "Wake me up before you go-go."
Blue Hawaiian and or hypnotic - If you're into the club scene (I'm not talking Indie bands) then this is your man.
Campari - You know my grandma.
Tom Collins - There's no way he has good style, (unless he's into the retro hipster thing) but he'll probably open every single door for you. He may wear a turtleneck sweater and want to talk about importance of family and sunsets, like this dude.
Vodka (Grey Goose) with lots of ice and a little bit of soda, tiny bit, and a lime - A sophisticated, refined drink that shows he knows what he likes. {Ed note: personally, all the specifications are a bit much but true love conquers all}
Fuzzy Navel - Let's pretend you've never heard of it, kay?
Singapore Sling - Well, well, a confident man.
Miller Light - You don't have to worry about this guy pretending to be cool and his taste buds are sub par so you don't have to worry about your cooking, he'll love it all.
Rum and Coke - nice.
Rum & Diet Coke - It's a first date, live a little.
Bourbon - You're from the south and your family does not believe in therapy.
Patron Silver - You watch a lot of Entourage.
Whiskey, no ice - Hot, cool, great unless he's got some missing teeth.
Ketel on the Rocks - You're well dressed and know how to change a tire.
Tequila - Boyish, happy go lucky. But if it's a series of shots, beware.
Sidecar - Depends on location. If you're in Williamsburg, NYC : watch out for the narrow tie -skinny jean-beck syndrome (see dude below.) Middle of country: kinda cool. LA: this person says "I'm in the industry" without stating their actual job.
White Russian - Dude, The Big Lebowski was great but get over it.
Jagermeister - You know what you want and in this case it's a blackout.
Kir Royale - In five years I will introduce you to my boyfriend... I'm fab-u-lous
Worst drink order, ever: A man really and truly once looked a bartender in the eyes and said, "Pour me the smoothest scotch of all time." He then proceeded to make his date try it to see just how "smooth" it was. If that doesn't deserve an eye roll, I'm not sure what does.
Related Links:
How to judge a dude by his food
The great female survey
