Food

Sunday, November 8, 2009

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How to judge a dude by his food

I'm single, dating and a bit of a food person (to put it mildly). I can’t imagine dating someone who isn’t a food person or, worse, someone who eats the same thing every day. I know, I know—I’ll probably end up with a guy who lives on Spaghetti-o’s and Bud Light. And it’ll probably serve me right for being as judgmental as I’m about to be.

See, I often think about the so-called rules of dating, as they apply to the ladies: You know, like don’t order just a salad because you’ll be pegged as the diet girl or don’t ask for anything “on the side” because he’ll think you’re a high-maintenance diva. I felt like it was time to turn the dinner tables on the boys and offer up my own gut reaction to some common first date orders. And based on your response the last time I did something like this, I fully expect you to weigh in with your own opinions.

Steak - It's hot when a dude orders steak. That said, everything in moderation. I went out a few times with a tattooed pseudo-stud who ordered steak compulsively. It was cute —until I realized he was doing Atkins. Just like you don't want to know when we feel fat, we don't want to know that you're on a fad diet.

Fish - I really like you! You're confident and comfortable in your own skin. You appreciate the finer things and you’re a little bit health-conscious. Again, just don't order it every time, or I’ll start thinking you’re uptight.

Pasta - Perfecto. Just please don't wear a bib. And if you order something boring like pasta primavera, own it. Say you're in the mood for something simple. Otherwise I might picture myself in Napa sipping a pinot while you’re reaching for a Michelob Light.

Dumplings – You’re cute. Cute as a button, or, er…a dumpling.

General Tso's Chicken - You're not one to go against the grain, but hey, there's nothing wrong with an easygoing fella.

Greek salad - Points for culture, but just like we can't do the salad, you can't either. I don't care how much feta is in there.

Chicken tenders - Is your momma coming to dinner with us, little buddy?

Pad thai - Safest bet on the menu, but the fact that you suggested Thai in the first place is cool.

Fajitas - You're sizzling company. Just make sure you don't get any of that sizzle on my sweater.

Turkey - If it's not Thanksgiving and you're not at Subway, don't order turkey. I can't explain it but just trust me on this one.

Game - Uh, as long as it's not accompanied by hunting-with-Daddy stories, do your thing. And one more thing...please don't sport mandals.

Pizza - If we're at a Pizzeria or a pub, it's all good, but if we are at a white table-clothed restaurant, you might want to aim a little higher. I mean, what’s for dessert—karaoke with your frat brothers?

Burger – You’re a solid man of good taste. You know what you like and you better give me a bite.

Sushi – You’re a keeper. Especially if you do the omakase and If you have the courage to try blowfish, I’d like you to meet my family.

Dessert - Let's save this for the fifth date. By that time we both won't care about an extra five pounds.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 122
  • mmk's Avatar
    Posted by mmk Fri May 30, 2008 1:53pm PDT

    My man served sushi the first time I had dinner at his place...I had to marry him!

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  • Miss 'Meeda's Avatar
    Posted by Miss 'Meeda Fri May 30, 2008 4:05pm PDT

    I got a burger boy, but it turns out he's just that - all the time! So solid, and unfortunately, I've had one too many "bites", to my dismay. So I'll hold out for a little too solid, and vote for a more diversified dude!

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  • Moontaxi's Avatar
    Posted by Moontaxi Fri May 30, 2008 4:10pm PDT

    Great list! I think you nailed it. I might also add:

    Ribs - Macho in a carnal, medieval kind of way but knawing on bone rib after rib can turn dinner into a date with the discovery channel.

    Ditto - I order pretty well and have a good track record of picking some of the best dishes, but something about frequent "I'll have the same" orders that ignite my fears of co-dependency.

    Can you do a list with drinks?

    Report Abuse
  • Beach Raccoon's Avatar
    Posted by Beach Raccoon Sat May 31, 2008 11:17am PDT

    Hahaha! So funny!

    Report Abuse
  • Randy's Avatar
    Posted by Randy Sat May 31, 2008 3:01pm PDT

    This is hilarious - the chicken tenders may truly not be a good sign!

    Report Abuse
  • MichelleV's Avatar
    Posted by MichelleV Sat May 31, 2008 9:57pm PDT

    What do you think about a guy who takes you out to a Chinese restaurant and orders sweet and sour chicken?

    Report Abuse
  • Mermaid's Avatar
    Posted by Mermaid Sun Jun 1, 2008 7:12pm PDT

    How can you judge a person by their food? I am a vegetarian and my hubby is a carnivore. I don't care what he eats, he's amazing!

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  • Go2net's Avatar
    Posted by Go2net Mon Jun 2, 2008 7:15am PDT

    The first time my husband asked me out to dinner was on his birthday (5 years ago). He showed up at my place with Papa John's cinnamon sticks. I thought he changed his mind about eating out. But we did go to Ruby Tuesday's although I can't remember if he ordered steak or a burger -- he usually orders one or the other. I've gained 40 lbs since.

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  • Disgruntled's Avatar
    Posted by Disgruntled Mon Jun 2, 2008 8:05am PDT

    Funny. My husband and I were both young and broke when we started dating so I really couldn't judge him by his food tastes. It became a standing joke that he'd always get chicken and I'd always get fish.

    I wasn't much of a "foodie" then but in the last few years I've gotten more and more into cooking. Luckily my husband is the perfect man because he is one of the least picky eaters I've ever seen. He likes just about anything I'll cook and doesn't insist upon meat at every meal. I know I'm turning into a good cook when my once picky son now says that "Mom's cooking is better than restaurant food."

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  • Beth's Avatar
    Posted by Beth Mon Jun 2, 2008 8:54am PDT

    Hahah that's a funny list. How about a guy that orders all of the above? lol

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