Healthy Living

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

114-year-old woman dies: How long would you like to live?

A woman died in a nursing home in New York on Monday and is remembered as a gardener and world traveler. While her family and friends may be mourning her loss this week, to most of us, her death would be relatively unremarkable.

But the passing of Olivia Patricia Thomas is actually quite extraordinary. At 114 years old, the supercentarian was believed to be the oldest person born in this country and the third-oldest person in the world. The oldest person in the world, Kama Chinen, resides in Japan and was born just shy of two months before Thomas.

The very idea that these women are living or have lived well into their one-hundreds awes me. It is humbling to think of all the changes they've witnessed -- politically, medically, technologically, culturally. As my own grandmother, now 101, once said when asked if the greatest invention of her time was cell phones, televisions, or cars, "No, honey, the greatest invention of my time is electricity."

That perspective is critical for those of us who marvel over the differences between a 3G and 3Gs phone or the fact that there are generations who think vinyl records are simply big CDs. In comparison, we've seen so little.

That said, living 114 years can't always be amazing or even appealing. Once a feisty, active lady, my grandmother is no longer lucid, living in the depths of Alzheimer's in a nursing home. Her body somehow thrives while her brain is somewhere mid-1900s. She's forgotten how to walk, feed herself, or who any of loved ones are who are still living. Years ago, she explicitly told us that her biggest fear was that her body would outlive her mind. And here she is.

I love my grandmother and it continues to be a great gift to hold her hand, sing her songs, and even to hear her voice as she struggles to figure out who I am. I don't want to lose her and I hate to see her spending the last chapter of her life in a bed in a nursing home. I can't help but think that, after a very full and long life, it will be rather merciful when her body does finally give in.

Growing up, I wanted to live forever. And if not forever, then to be a very, very old lady. Maybe even to be one of the oldest people in the world. That wish has changed in the years that have swallowed up my grandmother's vibrant life, and I wonder how much time on this planet we really do need to see.

Without knowing the particulars of Olivia Patricia Thomas' last days or of her death, I honor all of her 114 years. Maybe I don't need to strive to live that long, but rather, try to pack a supercentarian's life into less time.

Supercentarian or less than that?: If it was within your own control, how long would you really want to live?



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Comments 1-10 of 46
  • shaken00's Avatar
    Posted by shaken00 Wed Nov 18, 2009 12:13pm PST

    70 maybe? And that is if I am in good health. I don't want to live w/ chronic pain, a senile mind or in Depends and hardly able to feed myself.

    I don't understand why people are so afraid of death they want to live to be so old that their quality of life doesn't make life worth living.

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  • Mysterious Gryphon's Avatar
    Posted by Mysterious Gryphon Wed Nov 18, 2009 12:15pm PST

    I wouldn't mind living to 114. Three of my four grandparents have lived into their 90s and the two who are still alive are going strong - body and mind.

    The only trick is that, like your grandma, I don't want to outlive my mind. It must be hard on those who love you to see that happen.

    But I also don't want to outlive my fiance. I am inspired by the couple down South who have been married for 86 years ... true, they got married at about 15, but they are still there, side by side, into their 100s. I always tell my fiance that I have good genes and expect to live to be 100 - so he has to take care of himself so he can be there with me.

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  • Katie B's Avatar
    Posted by Katie B Wed Nov 18, 2009 12:31pm PST

    My great-grandparents lived until they were well into their 80's (almost to their 90's) and my grandparents are still kickin' in their mid to late 70's (I'm hoping they will get to meet at least one of their great grandbabies before they die)... Personally, I don't know how long I want to live... but thankfully there are medical advances so that we don't have to suffer as deeply (if at all) of Alzheimer's (which runs in my family, my step-dad's dad has it and he takes medicine that has slowed the process down and it is working really well). But whatever happens, I know it's for a purpose though I do want to be able to take care of myself for the very most part when I get old.

    I think if I could press the button on when I left this world it would be somewhere between 90 and 100.... but that's only if I am able to take care of myself for the most part (last thing I want is to be living in a nursing home).

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  • Nicole's Avatar
    Posted by Nicole Wed Nov 18, 2009 1:19pm PST

    I think everyone wants to "live forever" because the idea of never being able to come back to this beautiful planet scares them. That's how I feel, at least.

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  • .'s Avatar
    Posted by . Wed Nov 18, 2009 2:14pm PST

    Til next tuesday.

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  • Elm's Avatar
    Posted by Elm Wed Nov 18, 2009 2:24pm PST

    God created everything so perfectly, living beyond your 100's is certainly not the ideal due to the deterioration of the body and mind. Therefore, like the writer said so gracefully (and right on) "try to pack a supercentarian's life into less time".

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  • Robyn's Avatar
    Posted by Robyn Wed Nov 18, 2009 8:16pm PST

    i would like to be lie the lady met who 90 and is learning spanish with a tutor so i want to be old enough to the point where im ether that sane or that senile

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  • SHERYLL ANN's Avatar
    Posted by SHERYLL ANN Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:20am PST

    For all of us, entrust everything to God, as long as you are happy you will live longer. the only thing that makes people die young because of stress and lots of problems but if you seek God and surrender everything to him, you'll never go wrong and still have the means to make the most of your life and treasure every minute of the day while you are alive. God knows when one person must go and he is also the only one who decides to prolong ones life, if he knows you still deserve to stay here in this beautiful earth that he created for us and still experience a lot of things you never imagine to see, then you are a lucky person because you now belong to those chosen few who is blessed by God to still see the world even you are too old to live.

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  • Robert's Avatar
    Posted by Robert Thu Nov 19, 2009 2:49am PST

    It is also the quality of life, not just the lenght. I would rather go at 75, than live to over 100, if I am not capable of helping myself.

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  • GirlyGirl©'s Avatar
    Posted by GirlyGirl© Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:03am PST

    I want to live a long and full life. When I even start to be a burden to someone, it's time to go. My Papa's family has a history of living long, and so do my Mother's side. My Grandmama died at 104, and was still driving at 103. Sharp as a tack, and had more energy than I ever did! She was put into a nursing home at 104, and died two weeks later.

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