Healthy Living

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

2nd Chances-What are you going to do with the other half of YOUR life?


While on the elliptical this morning, (yes, I go to the gym to escape) I was reading an article about today's middle-aged parents on the subject of 'empty nesters'. The article was talking about how people no longer curl up and wait to die, feeling forlorn and lonely after their children move out. Todays parents have lengthier life spans, and have much more to do after the kiddos find a new address. We take over their rooms and remove the concert posters, and trade in the milk crates for office furniture or other grown up stuff. Some couples decide to sell their suburban homes where they raised their family and make the move to the city to become urbanite condo dwellers. They travel more. They feel like newlyweds again. They begin a new career or home business. They have peace and quiet and solitude. The article talked about how raising kids has now become a brief interlude in our lives. We have 20-30 years left after our children are gone to enjoy this life and do some really interesting things. It's a new stage in life.

I'm 45, and I only have 2 (out of 5) more kids left in grammer school.  I was 3 months pregnant with my first son when I graduated from college.  I was an art major, and after graduation, I traded the opportunity for a career in art to begin motherhood.  Now, 21 years later, I'm thinking about the second half  of my life and what I want to do with it.  I don't believe that this is a time to go out to pasture and be depressed because the kids are gone. I have a very positive attitude, and feel it will be an opportunity for me to explore new avenues with my life that I wasn't able to before when I was raising my children. 

Being the creative person I am, I have such a strong yearning to be a high school Art teacher. When I was a young college student, I didn't have the forethought to get my education degree.  Actually, I don't know what I was thinking.  All I know is I was young and  a bit squirrley (or maybe that was the pregnancy brain).  I've been regretting this mistake for many years now, and the thought of it hasn't left me.   I still have 20 good years left to work, God willing (and more than that to just have fun!), and I want to do something exciting and rewarding as I enter my 50's.  I believe not only will it benefit myself, but there's a chance my kids will look at me as an interesting person who is doing something meaningful which will keep my happier and give me purpose.

At this midpoint in my life, I feel much more confident, wiser and independent than I have at any other time in my life.  It's a phenomena that happens to women when they reach their forties. For me, it was like it happend overnight.  I think now is the right time to pursue this dream of mine, and it feels like my heart or something is pulling me that direction.  At the same time,  I wonder if there is a need for art teachers, and what are my chances of entering the teaching field in my late 40's and will I be taken seriously? This ambition of mine can be realized and all I need to do is go back to school for 2 years to get my education degree. 

Do any of you have an urge for a midlife career change or maybe you are like me and will just be starting your career?  Do you have a longing to do something you let slip away when you were younger and now, feel like it might be too late? 

What are you going to do with the second half of your life?  Do you have an interesting story to tell about what you did after your children grew up?  I'd love to hear your experiences. Please share with me...and if you have any knowledge about art teaching, throw it my way.  I'll catch it and run with it!
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Comments 1-10 of 38
  • djgreetings.com's Avatar
    Posted by djgreetings.com Sat Sep 13, 2008 8:48pm PDT

    do whatever makes you happy.

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  • Straightfoward(lovely lady)'s Avatar
    Posted by Straightfoward(lovely lady) Sat Sep 13, 2008 9:39pm PDT

    I have 5 years till my last child leaves the nest, 4 more till my first born. I am going to go back to college and finish what i did not finish when i got married. I quit college to stay home with my daughter and then i had my son and they are 14 months apart, so i have been a very busy stay at home mom. I am thankful for the times i have had with them, it is special when you can be with them. I went back to work last year and i felt really lost without them. I want to finish college, maybe in criminal justice, and i want to later on travel.

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  • Patti Wray's Avatar
    Posted by Patti Wray Sat Sep 13, 2008 9:49pm PDT

    Okay I give no excuses ,still I am older than you and have only tasted what you have now.I must admit your opening question had me shout Halleluah, since that is where my thoughts are at present..I am sitting here looking at my stand still as I listen to the gospel station and Con Ed enjoy my Television watches me.The stories I could tell from my youth are unbelievable as well as discomforting.Still I praise God for Wisdom and the ability to overcome them...I can tell you about my desires for my next 50 years plus;At least that's what I asked to be the will of God! I would like to own a children's Museum, my own home; with a large attic , medium basement,small porch,medium backyard,no inside stairs to be seen a hidden closet leads to the attic,two large bedrooms with windows that the sun raises and sets, an extremely large kitchen I love to cook and have plenty room for all my cabinets.The rest of the house can be normal..Small busniess owner.Meet that special someone again,adopt and better be Blessed with Miracle of successfully baring and raising my own.I've only felt the baring never successfully.Anyway I think I gave the basic of how I would like to spend the next half of my life...In the now reality I just take the man,a larger apartment and a paying job where my disability won't prevent me from maintaining...Most importantly I want to spend the rest of my life growing in spirit with my mind stayed on the Jesus and becoming a full-time doer of God's word....It was nice relating to someone around my age Thanks for posting this question...Blessings

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  • NO NAME's Avatar
    Posted by NO NAME Sat Sep 13, 2008 10:26pm PDT

    u go girl

    i been tru middle age and i am sixty,i been a high excutive for 30 yrs over 66 hotel world wide,and went in to a burn out for 10 yrs,never remarried since 1990,any way i am not ready to retire,what a waste of my time.

    age give us wisdom,i seen a lot and done a lot,i love kids so maybe start a opanage,plus write a book which i am doing now

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  • Annie and Specialist Of The US Army's Avatar
    Posted by Annie and Specialist Of The US Army Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:07pm PDT

    I must say it. I LOVE YOUR POSTS!!!!! They're like well written articles that elicit something human from the reader. Best of all you can respond if you so choose.

    Okay, now that thats out of my system. I want to finish school. I was halfway towards a teaching degree met a man, dropped out and thus began my misadventures. Anyway it's never to late and I owe it to my kids to finish. Funny I've been thinking a lot lately about early childhood education. Reaching them while you can still foster a good imprint on learning and education. Plus you have to love the candidness of young kids.:) Aside from that, security is premium. I do however like the condo idea. All the comfort of owning your own house except the heavy outdoor maintinence. Sounds nice.

    annie

    Oh, I hope you were able to find some info. on your friends health issues. I tried to find something but no real luck. I hope everything turns out okay.

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  • MochaMama42's Avatar
    Posted by MochaMama42 Sun Sep 14, 2008 9:46am PDT

    For the second half of my life, I am going to put my focus on me!

    I have two children, one in elementary school, one in Middle School. At the end of this year, 2008, I will be able to look at these few remaining months and see that the change I wanted began with me being honest with myself and putting me first and how everything else feel into place.

    About 3 weeks ago, I resigned from the worse job I ever had in life.

    I've been getting my sleep, getting my exercise again and I can breathe.

    Going back to school, attending a professional conference , and attending a week long yoga/meditation seminar are my short term goals for the next 4 weeks.

    I definitely think that you should finish your degree and teach. There is always a need for teachers, regardless of the subject, and once you get started on the goal, everything will just move together to get that goal accomplished.

    My mother finished Law School at 42, and 20 years later she is a partner at a law firm and well respected in her career. I have a cousin who re-enrolled in college at 40, started Medical School, and recently just finished her residency.

    I admire both of them, and I realize I want the freedom that comes with furthering my education. That isn't to say that I want to be an attorney or doctor, however, I value education, it's important to me, and I don't have any excuse not to do just that. I may end up getting my yoga certification to be a yoga instructor, but the point is, I will have the freedom to live the way that I want and for me, it's to complete me as a person and not have to live in the shame that I didn't live up to my potential like I would have wanted to. My grandmother obtained a Master's Degree in Latin back in the 1930's when most black people couldn't even attend primary school full time, let alone a graduate degree. I owe it to myself and the woderdul women who are and were an inspiration to me to live up to my potential as well.

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  • Kirsti H's Avatar
    Posted by Kirsti H Sun Sep 14, 2008 7:58pm PDT

    Like Mochamomma, I'm relishing this time of life as my time! I did get my degree before having my two children, then let my teaching certification lapse after choosing to stay home with both of them. I've been in some form of child care/teaching nearly my entire adult life and I'm itching to explore the many talents I have!

    (I see a lot of "I's" in this brief peice I've written so far and I guess that sums up where I'm at!)

    I'm grateful to have the time, opportunity and health to evolve into the-Me-who-comes-next!!!

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  • Cam's Avatar
    Posted by Cam Sun Sep 14, 2008 9:05pm PDT

    to bold and blithe. my ecouragement to further your education. i took a psycology class at community college just for fun. it was great. i also took crochet to brush up on granny squares. my return to ""get a life"" quote from my daugther a few years ago. i am 50 and a grandma. don't know why it's taken me so long to empower my freedom of child raising. i built too much of myself around my daugther. i'm a surviving single parent but that's no excuse. you've inspired me.

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  • __A_YAHOO_USER__'s Avatar
    Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Sun Sep 14, 2008 9:15pm PDT

    I am 57, kids gone, husband gone, retirement gone, now I have to work till I die. Spent the last 30 years caring for my family, watching my health, diet, no alcohol, stopped smoking believed in God and my country. All for what? I bacically have nothing to show for it, so i take a drink when I want to back to smoking after 21 years, work eat and sleep and wait to die. The country is going to hell fast and where the hell is God? I give up and do as I please whether folks like it or me or not.

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  • lost-n-lust's Avatar
    Posted by lost-n-lust Sun Sep 14, 2008 10:21pm PDT

    i'm 46 & my last one moved out earlier this year. i'm enjoying the peace & quite for the moment. not sure what i want to be when i grow up..., maybe take a job overseas for a year. the world is mine!!!

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Comments 1-10 of 38

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