I know that strength training is imperative for bone health, weight management, stamina and bootylicious jeans, but I just have this mental block when it comes to setting foot in that room. If heck exists and it's the place in life that you feel most uncomfortable, my heck would be the weight room with its intimidating barren walls, rubber floor, weight disks bigger than tires and those beefy men with leather belts and cut off sweatpants.
Am I going to allow an odiferous room of grunting sweating men with out-dated gym equipment keep me from stronger bones and a perkier butt? No. I am not. Because I have a secret weapon. What is this weapon you say? Being totally, utterly delusional, would be my answer. Yup. I'm a total headcase.
Hillary Clinton and I have the same mantra and it gets me through pretty much every scary intimidating situation I fumble upon: fake it 'til you make it. When I'm uncomfortable I look outside myself. Not outside myself to the greater good, I'm not that lofty. I look outside myself to other people: people who aren't scared or intimidated by big men in tiny shorts. These people could care less that this room smells like sweaty man-parts, that people are lifting barbells that weigh more than my immediate family, that at any moment one of these big scary dudes could eat me because I seem like a protein-filled snack. These people just walk in there, do what they have to do, leave and, quite possibly, enjoy the process. It's a simple process, really:
Step 1: Think about the kind of person that would be completely comfortable in said scary situation.
Step 2: Get out of your head.
Step 3: Get into their head. Here's where you get to make sweeping generalizations about someone in the privacy of your own cranium. What do you think those confident people think when they enter the weight room: blind dates, karaoke? Frankly, they're not thinking much. Why? Because they're totally comfortable. See Step 2.
Step 4: Git 'er done.
Step 5: Realize what a rock star you are.
So, now you know. My entire life is one giant game of pretend. I may not be brave, but I'm damn good at faking it. I'm actually pretty cool with the weight room these days--after lifting in the land of make-believe a few times I settled in and now I can grunt and scratch with best of them. But seriously, sir, do not ask me if you can "work in." I will be done in 30 seconds, don't get your man panties in a bunch.
--Kim
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