Healthy Living

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Are his standards too high?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with a man or woman making sure they get what they want out of a relationship. Whether or not you have (or he has) a literal checklist of an ideal mate or just a mental one doesn't matter. But what about the guy whose standards are so high—we're talking Mt. Everest here—that he'll never make it over the hump into a successful relationship? Maybe you can't take your relationship to the next level because his standards are just impossible. Maybe you're Ms. Right-Here-Right-Now, but he's still looking for Ms. Doesn't Exist. Here are some signs that, indeed, it's not you: Even a supermodel brain surgeon isn't going to make this guy happy.

He's Literally Looking
A guy may scan the room to look for friends, colleagues, or the waitress (just to order a drink). But if his eyes are beaming around like search lights while he's talking to you, then it's time for you to be on the lookout: He's very likely to be searching for the next opportunity.

His Longest Relationship = Your Shortest
If a guy's mature enough to commit, then he ought to have had at least one or two fairly long-term relationships. But if a man tells you he can't quite get over the six-month hump, then it may be an indication that he gets bored quickly or is constantly looking for the next best thing. Either that, or he picks his toes in bed.

He Integrates the Guys a Little Too Much
Absolutely nothing wrong with a guy who wants to hang out with his friends, even regularly hang out with his friends. A man without buddies often isn't to be trusted. If there's no posse, there's no possibility he'd be worth hanging with for the long term. But if you find yourself fighting with his friends for prime-time attention from your man, then it means that you haven't cracked an all-important barrier: on one side of the wall, you're an alternative to hanging with the guys, on the other, they're the alternative to his first choice-being with you.

His E-Mail Response Time is More Than 72 Hours
When a smart guy comes on too strong with a woman he likes, he senses it and backs off... plays a little hard to get. But if he's really interested in you, he won't be able to wait much more than three days before reconnecting. If you're front-of-mind, you need to be front-of-to-do-list, too. If his inbox is so full that he can't hit reply, it's gone from a little game to a big warning sign. His life may be too full, as well.

Need some of your own perfect-girlfriend tips? Try these great ones!

If you've already found your guy, here are 9 tips to hotter monogamy.

Have your own ideas? Please share them here.

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From the Community…

Comments 121-124 of 124
  • thatgirl's Avatar
    Posted by thatgirl Sat May 24, 2008 10:49am PDT

    Unfortunately, some women are attracted to greaseballs. My brother insists women are attracted to men who are 'mean.' This analogy puts smart women to shame, but it is quite true. Women have the right to decide to 'cut that cord' in the relationship when they are not being respected.

    My niece was recently heartbroken when she learned her x-boyfriend, who she dated 8 years and lost her virginity, dumped her for another woman he had been seeing for several months. My niece is definitely marriage material, as she is someone you can count on and is great with kids. Someday, he will be kicking himself where it hurts the most!

    Bye the way, I would have considered dating Mr. Lonely Guy as well as many of my friends, but we are all now married. There is still hope that he can meet a stable girl. I hope in years to come, my daughter finds someone like you who was raised with respect and morals.

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  • Cheryl's Avatar
    Posted by Cheryl Sat May 24, 2008 12:20pm PDT

    This article is plain stupid.

    Report Abuse
  • Cheryl's Avatar
    Posted by Cheryl Sat May 24, 2008 12:23pm PDT

    William Y, WTF, was that rant all about, you're nuts!!

    Report Abuse
  • 's Avatar
    Posted by Mon Jun 2, 2008 11:00am PDT

    I primarily take issue with the fact that if a guy lacks a "posse," there's "no possibility" that he's a keeper. some men -- especially people who are very invested in their work, their art, whatever -- just don't enjoy hanging out with a pack of beer-drinking, football-loving monkeys four nights a week in a dirty bar. i would say that men with a smaller, closer circle of friends (not a "posse") are actually much more sensitive to individual needs, better communicators, and better long-term partners.

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