Healthy Living

Monday, December 14, 2009

Battling cancer secretly: Would you do it?

To some, a cancer diagnosis is a very private thing. For me, it was the complete opposite--I'm an oversharer by nature so it never occurred to me not to tell people (plus, I had a supportive workplace, which I know factors huge in this). That's how I've coped. But some people--for a number of reasons--decide to go it alone. The most recent example of this is Chris Lofton, a basketball star at my alma mater, The University of Tennessee.

Last year Chris was diagnosed with testicular cancer and, other than his coach, doctors and parents, told no one. Not even his extended family or teammates. He faced surgery, radiation and all the awful emotions that accompany a diagnosis pretty much solo (he said he didn't want his parents hanging around campus, lest people think something was up). He played his entire senior season--they lost in the Sweet 16...bummer since I'd picked them to go all the way--after beating the cancer. Still, it wasn't until a few weeks ago that he decided to share his story (with ESPN.com). First, I have to say, way to go Chris. I'm honored to be in your company as both a former Vol and a cancer survivor. Second, I completely understand why he kept it quiet. He didn't want to take attention away from his team and he didn't want people to make excuses for him (you can imagine if he missed a 3-pointer, some might say, Oh, it must be the cancer....ugh!). But now, he hopes, his story will help people. And it will. I only hope he didn't put himself through agony with all the what-ifs and worries and so few people to lean on.

Anyway, wanted to hear your thoughts on this. I know a handful of other people with cancer who have chosen not to tell their employers or even their families. I cannot imagine that. Can you? --Erin


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Comments 1-3 of 3
  • chocogirl23's Avatar
    Posted by chocogirl23 Wed May 21, 2008 4:54pm PDT

    I can't imagine going through something as major as that without the support of family, friends and coworkers. I, myself have never been diagnosed with cancer but my little sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and fought a long hard battle for 7 years and passed away 4 years ago after it settled in her brain. She was 33 when she died! I would tell everyone that was close to me.

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  • Jen Singer's Avatar
    Posted by Jen Singer Mon Jun 9, 2008 5:22pm PDT

    I couldn't keep it quiet. That's hard to do when you're bald and have no eyelashes, muscle tone or shouting voice. (I sounded like a goose being strangled when I coached soccer last fall).

    Luckily, Good Houskeeping gave me a place to write about it, and here on Yahoo in my Good Grief blog over in the Parenting section.

    And I'm glad I did share it. My neighbors cooked for us three times a week while I underwent chemo, and friends took turns taking my kids to swim practice and their houses.

    The way everyone rallied around me, I felt like Luke Skywalker. We were all scrambling into our X-fighters to go blow up the Death Star. It made me feel stronger to know that many people cared about me and my family.

    But I had non Hodgkin's lymphoma. I wonder if I'd have shared as much if it was a female cancer. Aw, who am I kidding? Yes I would. And in doing so, other cancer survivors said I helped them, too.

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  • CarePages.com's Avatar
    Posted by CarePages.com Mon Jun 30, 2008 9:42am PDT

    I second the comments from Jen and Sheila. Not only is it hard to keep quiet, more and more studies are showing positive benefits and better outcomes for people who have a community of support around them. Read more here: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/don-t-go-it-alone-193829/.

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