I asked him how he was and he smiled and shook his head. It was the head-shake people who have survived that crazy week before a wedding recognize and understand. One of the big details left on the couple's list was picking up her dress and having the final fitting.
The friend sighed. This was the one thing his bride-to-be was struggling with -- how she would look on the big day.
"She's so gorgeous. And I am just amazed that she is so upset about not being a young, skinny bride. I can't believe she wants to be that so badly."
I got it. When I got married, I was very happy with how I looked and even happier with how I felt. But even now that I am no longer married and am thinner and much happier, I look back on the photos and wonder how I'd see myself if I was walking down the aisle today.
A bride's body image is a fragile thing. The stress of guests and the florist who hasn't returned calls and in-laws and that one obligatory bridesmaid and the fourteen bread machines in the middle of the living room floor don't make that any easier. The fittings and attention and thousands of photos often amplify whatever tiny issues already existed.
If you've been there and even if you felt phenomenal in your body as you said your vows and celebrated with your loved ones, I imagine you understand how some brides might feel this way. If you dieted or worked out or stressed to get into a smaller sized dress, perhaps you are nodding, maybe you relate.
I tried to lighten the conversation with the groom, asking if he'd ever been at a wedding when all he could think was, "Can't someone get the bride a sandwich?" But I sensed he felt as helpless about how to make his betrothed feel better as she did.
Then I said something I really do believe, "It's not the dress or bouquet or expensive hairdo that makes a bride beautiful. It's her glow. A glowing bride is the most gorgeous bride."
Of course, he already knew that. And I am sure that when his lovely lady-friend meets him at the end of the aisle, she will be glowing and gorgeous and all of that other stuff will fade away.
That's my hope for them and for her. That her weight and age are just more numbers in a day full of so much more.
Do you relate to this bride's body image issues?
How did you feel about your body on your wedding day?
Does any of that matter now?
[photo credit: Getty Images]
