Healthy Living

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Be honest: What do you lie about?

There's a fun little post up on CNN.com that is just a list of 25 things it is just fine to lie about. The appeal here, of course, is that we all lie.

One older (from 2002) but interesting study noted that 60% of participants lied at least once in a ten-minute conversation, and on average told two to three lies.  Even the participants who watched their own conversations back on video were surprised at how many times they fibbed. A newer British study (from 2008) says that people lie four times a day on average, which doesn't sound that bad until your consider that totals up to 1,460 untruths per year. Men, the study says, lie a bit more than women and, not surprisingly, that the most common misstatement is "I'm fine."

While we lie for all kinds of different reasons, from self-protection to avoiding punishment, experts seem to agree that there are varying levels of acceptance for falsities. A white lie told to tend to someone else's feelings or a tall tale is not necessarily offensive, but that chronic fabrications can indicate mental health concerns and compulsive liars are considered intolerable.

What I love about this list of 25 things that it is OK to misrepresent is that there's no obligatory discussion of whether we do or don't lie, whether or not it is ethical, or any of that business. It's just a list. A list that accepts that we're all dropping a little disinformation here and there and we need to just acknowledge it, nod politely and move on. A few of the funniest from it include (the full list is here):
  • The number of sexual partners you've had plus or minus five
  • That you totally just washed your hands
  • That you're naturally toned
  • That you can not do a headstand in yoga class
  • That you made that lasagna yourself
  • That you always recycle
  • That you read all sections of the paper, not just the Style and Entertainment sections
  • That you never ever, ever look at so-and-so's Facebook page!
As a busy single mom (yes, this is the set up for my own fib confession, complete with rationale), I fully cop to passing off store-bought snacks as my own at potlucks and playgroups (it's amazing what a fancy platter can do for a tub of hummus or packaged pound cake).

And you, what do you justify lying about?

Your weight, how often you exercise, that you quit smoking for real this time, that you love to meditate -- What are the little fibs you feel are OK to tell?
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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 35
  • mommaofsun's Avatar
    Posted by mommaofsun Thu Jan 22, 2009 1:48pm PST

    When we visit my folks, we have to come up with a story as to why we won't stay with them. number 1, the house stinks of cat and dog urine and poop. and, you cannot walk around without shoes, because the carpet has not been cleaned. Number 2, her dog will sit outside our door and bark all night. Number 3, the kids end up with hives, itchy watery eyes, and hacking up animal hair. All of our stuff has to stay in the garage when we get home, for a couple weeks, because it stinks. and no matter how many times you wash the clothes, they still smell like her house. The room we stay in was my old room, and you just can't fit a blow up mattress, two adults, two kiddos, our luggage, and all of the kids stuff they brought in this tiny little room. and, we have to keep everything in that room, or the dogs will chew them up and the cats will pee on them. My moms cat will even jump on the stove and pee on it. she just wipes it up with a paper towel and is done. EWWWWWW!!! So, we have a story ready as to why we can't stay.

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  • Me's Avatar
    Posted by Me Thu Jan 22, 2009 2:57pm PST

    I lie all the time about being happy about my job. The truth is I am miserable and constantly looking for a new job. Hope one comes my way soon.

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  • springtime's Avatar
    Posted by springtime Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:09pm PST

    Whoa... first poster really has family with serious health issues. That's so sad. I doubt I could be so gracious. Although, I do lie by withholding the truth. Really. When someone says,

    " Really, do you like this new hair color on me?", I always crawfish and gush and say " Love it!"... when I clearly don't. I'm such a pansy.

    But the things you listed?? No, I don't lie about silly little things like that. And Jessica, I really do read all sections of the newspaper, although I just skim sports unless it's playoffs.

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  • renay's Avatar
    Posted by renay Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:51pm PST

    i always lie to save people i care about feelings. i really thinkn that life is to short to go around being n.d saying mean things just to be in the light of honesty. sure there are times that we all must be totaly honest and i do have a sense of someones true integrety.

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  • TiyaLicious's Avatar
    Posted by TiyaLicious Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:23am PST

    I hate lying with a passion! and i hate when people lie for no reason. but i cant sit here and say that i never lied before. i just make it a point not to. first of all i dont like doing it because i dont feel good at all about it and eventually end up telling the truth, also in my personal opinion its unnecessary, it takes so much energy to lie because you have to remember it and it leads to more lies and fake facial expressions,etc. some people rather be lied to than to hear the truth. but me i pick the truth over anything! when i was younger i used to lie all the time then i learned that if you lie and someone ( like my mom ) finds out, the punishment is way worse than it would have been if i had only told the truth. i applied honesty to my life at a young age lie than being dishonest is added to your character " what you do repeatedly is who you are," tell the truth when its necessary but remember the truth hurts but the person will trust and respect you more. and when i say "necessary" i mean for example dont just give your honesty. we rather not hear your opinion or fact. like if you think someone is unattractive and no one asked you! just shut the hell up and keep it to yourself! being being honest will make you feel way better than telling a lie, theyll get over it trust me. anyway i can talk about this all day! i hope i helped!

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  • mommaofsun's Avatar
    Posted by mommaofsun Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:34am PST

    springtime---yeah, it's pretty nasty. Even just to visit for a while, all of us leave feeling sick.

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  • gemma's Avatar
    Posted by gemma Fri Jan 23, 2009 10:20am PST

    I don't like last minute plans so if someone asks me to do something, usually I'm okay with saying that I have other plans (they don't have to know it's sitting on the couch and catching up on my DVR). Sometimes I throw in that I'm going out with girlfriends to make it a little less vague.

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  • short-stuff!'s Avatar
    Posted by short-stuff! Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:05am PST

    when people call me at the last minute asking if they want to hang out i lie and tell them "oh no i'm kinda busy right now", when the truth is i'm just watching tv or just not in the mood to see anybody :)

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  • beautifully's Avatar
    Posted by beautifully Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:28pm PST

    I try very hard not to tell little lies, even if it is the "I'm fine" one. As for lying about something big, I am just too darn lazy. It is too much to keep straight.

    One of my life rules is that if I think I would lie about something I am considering doing, I just choose not to do it.

    Plus, my ex-husband is a pathological liar. It was devastating to our marriage (hence the ex in front of husband). I know how much it hurt me, so I try my very hardest to never do that to another person, no matter how small the untruth is.

    I am never intentionally mean, and I try to be very tactful with my honesty. And if I can't be tactful, I stick by the old saying of "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

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  • HM.Hou's Avatar
    Posted by HM.Hou Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:54pm PST

    Me 2-- you have the absolute most honest answer!

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Comments 1-10 of 35

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