Because Gym Class Wasn't Torture Enough

I've been out of school for nearly a decade now, and, despite that gap, I still have traumatic memories of gym class. Back in Elementary school, twice a year we'd have a 'Fitness Test' that included sit ups, push ups, pull ups and the ubiquitous mile run. In middle school, the twice yearly test was punctuated with the torturous David Waddle Run every spring. Who was David Waddle and why was he making me run 5K around our stunningly large school grounds? I remember very clearly wanting to find the guy and smack him a few times. High school wasn't much better. Every class started with two laps around the track followed by thirty minutes of flailing embarrassingly at whatever ball of the day was being flung through the air by the football and lacross players that inevitably found their way into my class. 

I did join the marching band's colorguard. We practiced for two hours after school Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Thursday nights, we had a four hour rehearsal with the full band. Every other Friday night was a football game and every Saturday and Sunday was devoted to competition. I was in the best shape of my life those years, mostly because practicing for a performance sure didn't feel like gym class and everyone there loved what they were doing. I kind of miss those days. Swinging those flags around gave me some seriously smexy shoulders.  

Needless to say, PE was never much fun for me, and (shocker) the additude of dreading most physical activity followed me into adult-hood. I used to walk. A friend and I would go up to the track at the local community college and walk laps. Having a friend helped as our conversations were usually fun enough to ease the irritation of excercise. I took a belly-dancing class in college, mostly for giggles. There wasn't enough movement each class to even break a sweat, so, really, it didn't count; but it did remind me of color guard and the fun that could be associated with physical activity. I've spent a lot of time searching for that same feeling in my excercise routine. 

Then I had a baby. Do you know what a baby does to your body? Holy Crap!

I was never a skinny chick, but I was never what I'd call 'fat' either. I had curves and I loved them. But the baby.. O. M. G. The baby. All of a sudden, quite literally overnight, in fact, I was shopping at Lane Bryant and trying to figure out why women would want implants for DD breasts, because, really? They're not fun. At all. My back doesn't stop hurting. Bathing suits are something I don't even consider any more for part of my summer wardrobe. And my waist? I waved bye-bye to it at the first sign of a baby bump. I have yet to see it return. Knee high boots? Yeah, right. There's no way my calves can fit in them no matter how cute those leather lovelies are or how badly I wish for it.
 
My daughter is 18 months old now, and I'm worse now than even right after giving birth. Taking that step from the Misses department at Macy's to Lane Bryant was a huge mental blow for me. I spent months trying to still squeeze into my pre-pregnancy cloths. It doesn't work that way though. Lane Bryant is an awesome store and what it does for it's demographic is amazing, but it's not where I want to be shopping. I want at least a semblance of my old body back. So I signed up for Yoga. And I took up that belly dancing class again. I got a Wii Fit for Mother's Day this year and I've finally started using it. Then last week, I got a message from my brother on Facebook. Would I like to join him in working up towards a 5K run in 8 weeks?

Hah. Hahah. Hah. No. Absolutely not. Remember those fitness tests? That stupid David Waddle run? Why would I do that to myself?  He countered with, "Really it's more of a jog than a run. And the program allows you to work towards a 5K run or a 30min run, whichever you're more comfortable with."

The idea of running for 30 minutes straight is just as unappealing as the 5K distance. But I went and read the program. The Couch-to-5K Running Plan from coolrunning.com actually looked sort of doable. It doesn't throw you into the deep end that first day. In fact the first week is mostly walking. But still. The idea of running was like smacking into a brick wall for me. My brother came back with "I'm not looking to be able to run a mile in 5 minutes. Just trying to get off my lazy butt. My gut isn't getting any smaller." I still hemmed and hawed. He said, "Really, what else are you doing?"

I realized he was right. Yoga and belly dancing, while a step in the right direction, are not going to return me to my pre-baby body. So, I bought running shoes yesterday along with a really great sports bra.

I'm not looking forward to this, but maybe that will change in the upcoming weeks. Or something. I'll keep you updated.