Burn the Resolutions List -- and Pass the M&Ms

After noticing the cupboards were empty and the milk in the fridge had an expiry date older than my last overdue library book , I hungrily reached for the nearest edible product I could find.
A handful of multi-colored M&Ms were greedily devoured.
Alas, I then realized that in my moment of weakness, I had just broken another item on my New Year's Resolutions list.
Something about eating healthier and not gulping down chocolate before 10 a.m. in the morning.
It was 9:49 a.m. on January 17.
On the bright side, this resolution lasted longer than most of mine.
Some people are smart. They may find that they occasionally stray from their New Year's Resolutions Lists but still find their way back to some or all of the promises they made to themselves.
Some people are clever. They scribble only a few resolutions that they know are obtainable, and feel better about themselves when they meet those expectations.
Some people are geniuses. They don't bother to waste time on resolutions, and never feel guilt, shame or angst about breaking promises they knew they could never keep.
I, on the other hand, may have been overly ambitious this year. I had 34 resolutions on my list.
In the last 17 days, I did more than just stray from my list. To put it simply, my list and I have pretty much crashed and burned, and what's left of it will probably be but a pile of ashes in my fireplace by the end of the weekend.
(Note to self: Good thing I didn't add that resolution about never burning another fire log in my fireplace and reducing my carbon footprint on this planet.)
I admit my list was ambitious. Actually, it's a fine line between ambitious and ludicrous, and I may have been erasing that line with my resolutions' efforts.
Some people declare they will lose weight.
I said I would lose at least 100 pounds.
Some people promise they write that book they always wanted to do.
I aimed to start, write and complete three by the end of the year. I think I also believed I would be collecting royalties from bookstores' bargain bins within the next 12 months after those books failed to make Oprah's book club list.
Some people wished to make this the year they become more successful financially: keep more of their savings, make better decisions on purchases, invest more in their retirements, balance checkbooks, live more frugally, have fewer sleepless nights worrying about how to pay the monthly bills.
I think I was more realistic with that one. My goal was just to win a lottery (a substantial one), since I knew realistically that this year will be the one where almost all my income, savings, possessions, etc. are probably going to go to my soon-to-be ex-husband in our divorce battle (or our lawyers). 
I suspect by the end of it, the only thing I will be allowed to keep is my sense of humor. Although I have heard rumors he wants half of that, too.
There is one thing I have on my New Year's Resolutions list that surprisingly I have been able to successfully continue to do for the past 17 days.
A friend had suggested we do this, and I liked the idea. 
At the end of the day, I write down five things I am grateful for -- it could be big or small, all about me or for the good of the world -- but each day this is the last thing I do before I go to bed.
Often I have found my friends and family have made that list.
Sometimes it's a roof over my head, a bed to sleep on, food on my table.
Safe travels, a job going well, winter storms ending ... all those have made my gratitude list.
Today, as I munch on M&Ms, I think about what should be on today's list. I try to avoid writing down M&Ms for breakfast, although the blue ones deserve accolades.
Today's list should be a little deeper.
I am grateful for:
1) a sense of humor, even during my darkest times, that I can share with others when they need a laugh
2) this world's amazing communication network that allows us to reach out to friends and strangers across the globe in a matter of seconds
3) a sunny day outside which makes the snow, wind, and chilly temperatures seem a lot more bearable
4) the courage to start a new blog even if I have no clue if anyone else will read or respond to it and finally, 
5) that great fireplace to burn my New Year's Resolutions list, destroying the evidence that I really honestly thought I would lose 100 pounds, be a famous author, win the lottery, save the planet and become a better human being within the next 12 months.
I might need another year or two for that.
Pass those M&Ms.