Shelly Taylor, a psychiatry professor at UCLA, discovered during the course of her research that all stress responses are not equal. Men, she found, had two primordial reactions — lashing out or running away. But women’s first response is to tend to their young, make friends and develop a social network – or "tend and befriend," as it is described clinically. Therefore, if a man has a bad day, he might go for a jog or simply want to be left alone – fleeing, perhaps, to a comfortable chair in front of a televised sports event. But if a woman has a rough day, she’s more likely to relieve her stress through sharing: she’ll get on the phone with her friends or her mother. Of course, this isn’t true across the board. But if you consider your own preferences, you’ll probably recognize these tendencies.
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When confronted with dangerous challenges, the human body releases stress hormones that prepare it to meet the demands of the perceived emergency, but then returns the nervous system to a restorative state when the crisis has passed. In today’s fast-paced world, however, our bodies perceive "emergencies" at every turn. The brain, in all its majesty, can’t distinguish between small hassles like carpooling, commuting and coordinating schedules and major dangers like demanding bosses, deadlines or an unnerving message from your doctor. Triggered by each new pressure, our stress hormones flow unabated and — unable to adapt to and accommodate this chronic hormonal surge — our bodies and emotional state begin to break down. In addition to anxiety and depression, we suffer immune deficiencies, acute gastrointestinal issues, high blood pressure, chronic inflammation, obesity and insomnia. Even if your body is otherwise healthy, your fragile emotional state or your hair-trigger temper will tell you otherwise.
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But take heart! There’s hope. Here are four easy, tangible ways to offset the stress in your life:
1. Go visit a friend in person this week. Studies show that spending time with a person you care about — as opposed to e-mailing or texting — will increase your level of oxytocin, a hormone that increases bonding.
2. If you can’t find time for a daily workout, make a smaller commitment to exercise by taking a 20-minute walk daily. Even this kind of moderate physical activity mobilizes endorphins, the "feel good" hormones. Walk with a friend or alone; walk for part of your daily commute; run an errand on foot.
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