I'm obsessed and painfuly aware of it. I count calories religiously, I think about food 24/7. I wake up at night and think about food. Not necessarily about eating food, but I think about how much I'm taking in, I think about how much I burn off in a day, I keep a diary, I talk about it incessantly! I annoy myself with food. I have a problem and I don't know what to do about it.
The problem is that I don't just live my life, the problem is that I think of everything as a diet. Eating healthy and eating the right portions shouldn't be a diet...it should be a lifestyle. But my brain continues to think of it as something painful and cruel. I want to eat...all of the time. I want to sit and eat in front of my TV but I feel guilty. I have to force myself to stop eating, I have to force myself to exercise, I have to force myself to not think about food and calories and being fat. This paranoia is killing me.
I still want to lose weight (which is fine, 10 pounds lost would only benefit me) and considering how much I (let myself) eat I should be losing weight. So why am I still here? I stay under 1,200 calories on most days (keep in mind, I'm 5'8) and I burn roughly 2,466 calories a day not including the exercise. I just want the body I want. I'm okay with this one but I want to improve it.
But it's hard when all you can think about is food. I plan out my meals and think about them religiously through the day, but then I want to eat more...and more...and more. I just can't stop this cycle. I need this obsession to go away!
