How to squash the tension around the thanksgiving table

Thanksgiving is a time for family gatherings, being thankful for what we have, eating delicious food, and having family fun. However, for most of us it also comes with a sacrifice of time, energy, money, and attention. Many couples run into various stressors around the holidays; juggling the families, battling the in-laws, butting-heads about traditional differences, blending the conflicting family members, or even struggling with decision making.

You don’t have to wait until the tension rears its ugly head at the dinner table. Take active steps now on how to handle the family frictions. Here’s how to squash the tension around the Thanksgiving table:

1. Be Prepared with a Game Plan: Talk with your partner and create a plan of attack on how you two can handle the stress; creating and using code words, setting realistic expectations with one another, and handling stress in a positive way. Focus on creating a team and finding ways in which you two can support one another. The more you two are on the same page, the less tension can pull you two apart.   
2. Practice Self-Care: Holiday stress can fester and grow until it explodes. Avoid bottling in your feelings. Schedule time for self-care, such as jogging, gym time, journaling, etc. Create a place to decompress and let out the steam before it explodes at the dinner table.   
3. Share “Couple Time:” Life gets busy during the holidays and people can neglect the relationship. Find time to sneak away and have one-on-one time with your partner. Use this time for connecting, romance, and pure fun. The relationship needs nurturing while life is busy.
4. Play the Game: Some in-laws and family members can be venomous, passive aggressive, and down right rude.   A battle must include two people…Don’t get caught in the war and fight back. Instead, learn how to play the game by “killing with kindness.” Do the opposite and give respect. Learn how to “stroke the ego” of the in-laws where they won’t have any ammunition to fight back. Keep it civil and hopefully get it to turn into something sweet for everyone’s sake.   
5. Calm your nerves: If conflict is common during Thanksgiving, be prepared. Create your own plan of attack and how to calm your nerves. When your buttons get pushed, don’t let the reactions take over. Instead, calm your nerves by taking in deep breathes and talking yourself down. In your mind, tell yourself positives and encourage yourself to keep your head up.
6. Enjoy, Enjoy, Enjoy: People can get caught in their “head” and focus on the negative. Shift your thoughts to the positive and enjoy your holiday time. Get involved in activities that you like to do with your partner.
7. Take Turns: He wants to visit his family, but you want to visit yours. Take turns or find a way to compromise. Visit both in the same day (if geographically close), switch the holidays, or find a way that you will both be happy.
8. Avoid Painful Coping: Because of the stress, the poor coping styles might try to kick in. Common destructive behaviors of the holiday season include emotional eating, binge drinking, isolation, and excessive shopping. Keep track of your mood and exchange your poor coping styles with a healthier behavior. 

How do you squash the tension in your relationship?

Learn other tools how to kick the stress out of your relationship at Capessa.com. Or vist Jennine over at Relationships in the Raw.