Healthy Living
Friday, December 11, 2009
How your inner "Perfect Girl” is holding you back
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Many of us let our inner
Perfect Girl take the driver's seat because we
believe that she knows all the answers and that she knows better
than we do.
Indeed, in many cases Perfect Girl has helped us be
accomplished, and has helped us develop high standards for our life
which is a good thing. However, Perfect Girl can also hold you back
from being your true self and from living your most authentic life.
Here are a few ways Perfect Girl holds you back:
- Perfect Girl likes to stay within her comfort zone. She will
only tackle things she knows she can at least be 90% good at. If
you only stick to things you think you're good
at, how do you know you're not missing out on
something you could be awesome at, but would never try because
initially it doesn't look like
something you could be good at? Start stepping out of your comfort
zone.
- Perfect Girl is high maintenance. Ever notice that when she is
in charge, you are always tired, frustrated, and tense? Why,
because Perfect Girl is unrealistic, relentless and pushes you
constantly to go way above the call duty. Start asking yourself why
you have to do more work than need be.
- Perfect Girl can't stop and smell the roses
because she's fixated on wanting to prune the
roses, water the roses, and read tips from Martha Stewart to make
her roses grow bigger and brighter. In reality, life is not a
competition or a beauty contest, only Perfect Girl believes
that.
Continue reading..."
How your inner "perfect girl" is holding you back"
Does this ring true for you? How is your inner Perfect Girl holding you back?
Related: personal growth, perfectionism, perfect girl, mind and mood
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Posted by *female powers 101 Tue Sep 23, 2008 1:13am PDT
HELLO STEP, WOW, THAT WAS SO GOOD. IT REALLY HAD ME LOL. SO TRUE I THINK. I BET MEN WOULD FIND THAT THE TALK OF THE TOWN HUM, LOL. I BET ALOT OF MEN HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THE PERFECT GIRL THAT WAY, WELL THEY JUST GOT EDUCATED SOME MORE. CHECK OUT MY BLOB. FEMALE POWERS HAS SPOKEN
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Posted by Brenda, Shine Community Manager Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:37am PDT
Stephanie! It's so great to see you back on Shine. :) Another fabulous post here. I never realized the high maintenance aspect of my inner Perfect Girl until now. And to know I push those qualities, not only on myself, but on those close to me....all I can say is, YIKES! Thanks for making me realize something I am going to start changing NOW. :)
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Posted by Brett Blumenthal - Sheer Balance Thu Oct 2, 2008 3:57pm PDT
I am definitely a perfectionist in many ways...and my husband has been telling me for years that I need to let go. It is SOOO hard. But what you say is so true.
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Posted by Mel Fri Oct 3, 2008 6:53am PDT
Thanks for the great article. I totally related to all 8 points and saw myself in everyone of them. I agree with Brenda - yikes - I have some changing to start doing now. First thing is stop saying I'm sorry for things that are not my fault. Second thing is to start setting boundries.
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Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Fri Oct 3, 2008 7:11am PDT
Ever notice how Perfect Girl is perfect according to OTHER people's standards? When I stopped & looked at all these people who were setting these standards on me I realized they were hypocrites & weren't living according to them. So my Grown Woman had a talk with my Perfect Girl about reality. While my Grown Woman is now in the driver's seat, my Perfect Girl can chime in when it comes to MY morals, principles & convictions. Otherwise, I just try to enjoy living for today.
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Posted by skinnychic7 Fri Oct 3, 2008 11:23am PDT
I really enjoyed reading this post. I am definitely a person that has let the inner "Perfect Girl" hold me back. Thank you for posting this!
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Posted by Stephanie Quilao Fri Oct 3, 2008 12:09pm PDT
Hey all! Ooo, great to be back. Thanks for the warm welcome :-)
I have to say the biggest thing for me to let go of was the fact that showing my flaws still made me lovable and even respected. Last year I revealed a bulimia relapse, thinking, "I'll never blog again in this town" because of the hypocrisy I felt of being in the health category. http://www.backinskinnyjeans.com/2008/01/part-i-of-iii-s.html
And you can bet that Perfect Girl was dead set against this idea..lol. But I did it, and it turned waaay better than I could have imagined, my readers respected me more for my authenticity, and it opened doors for me like I could never have imagined. Perfect Girl was shocked, and I'm so glad I did not let her talk me out of doing what I needed to do! At the same time though, that experience helped Perfect Girl loosen up on me...lol!
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Posted by Melissa Fri Oct 3, 2008 12:19pm PDT
Steph, as usual, your words resonate so well. I struggle with perfect girl syndrome, and know it's been behind my anxiety/disordered eating issues. Thanks for giving us some awesome food for thought.
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Posted by bunhumper Fri Oct 3, 2008 5:00pm PDT
I totally thought this article was for men about THEIR image of THEIR "Perfect (Ideal) Girl (companion)," and how that holds THEM back from perhaps finding someone more realistic...please make an article on this :)
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Posted by rogelio o Sun Oct 5, 2008 2:45am PDT
thank you for your article it helps me a lots
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