From Marathon
Mom blogger Sasha Brown-Worsham on FitPregnancy.com:
I had planned to post today about post-race recovery and my plans
to run a half-marathon on Nov. 15. My muscular therapist who I
trust and revere told me I need to take off from running in order
to recover, but another issue has arisen this week that seems more
pressing.
As I continue to recover from last week’s near miss for my BQ time, I have been called "competitive" more times than I can count.
And while some have meant it as a compliment, "wow, you really are a competitive woman,” a fellow marathoner said to me right before she offered me a freelance position writing for the company. Others have meant it in a not-so-nice way. "You are way too competitive," a friend who shall remain anonymous recently told me. Intimating that perhaps my trouble with making (and keeping) female friends stems from this.
Most recently a male friend pointed out that he has noticed two kinds of women in the world, "those who will admit they are competitive and those who won't for fear of appearing unladylike."
Any guesses as to which camp I belong?
I am competitive (and ambitious and abrasive and Type A). Very. I like to win. I like to be the best (or my own personal version of that). I like to set ambitious goals, meet them and then set new and better ones. I am not ashamed of this and I don't care if it makes me unladylike.
If a lady is good with thank-you notes and always dresses impeccably and has hot meals waiting for guests, then I suppose it is true: I am no lady. I have always said if you can't think of 3,000 more interesting things to do than clean the house, then I probably don't want to be friends with you. A lady definitely has a clean house.
Among "ladies" competition might be seen as vulgar or even crass. Some of the most competitive women I know will not admit to it for fear of being seen that way. These are the ones who say they are just "happy to be here" but don't want to "win" (meanwhile secretly seething while people beat them).
I say: what is so wrong with admitting you have a drive
to win? In men, we reward competitiveness. We encourage it. In
women, it can make you not want to be friends.
Continue reading Marathon Mom and her thoughts on
competition here.
What do you think? Can a woman be competitive and still be
"a lady"? What does being "a lady" even
mean? And how do these stereotypes affect our future and
those of our children?
