Jon and Kate; What can we learn from them?

     It is my sincere hope that I'm not the only one seeing Jon Gosselin's pervasive and rampant Passive Aggression. This insidious disorder wreaks havoc on many relationships, however there are few, reliable resources on the subject of this enigmatic personality disorder. Scott Wetzler, PH.D, wrote the most noteable book on the subject; Living with the Passive Aggressive Man, Coping With Hidden Aggression From the Bedroom to the Boardroom. However, his book fails to give any diffinitive resolutions regarding treatment outcomes or whether or not there is any hope for this elusive relationship dynamic.
To clarify; energetic, intelligent, succesful women with self-esteem issues, marry/partner with self-defeating, negativistic man-children perhaps with the false hope that their love can somehow bring forth the capable man they see in him. Simply put, I want answers.
     How many successful, intelligent, driven women do you know who have attached themselves to charming, 'nice-guys' only to find themselves with a perpetual sense of frustration or lonliness? The typical dynamic is one of the driven woman creating goals within the relationship that are continually and elusively sabotaged by her aloof partner, who fears his own success and feels threatened by the success of his partner (thus he thrives and relies on her failures because it's the only time he can feel any sense of satisfaction). Trying to define what he's done can sometimes feel like trying to claw at fog or grip water; such is the very nature of Passive Aggression. It can leave you infuriated but there is no specific behavior, no one act to target. Like any other maladapitve survival behavior, passive aggression creates a fortress around the individual, protecting him from everything and anything he feels ineffective at dealing with, protecting him from his fears, his inadequacies, his anger, his self-doubt and his responsibilities. It may even be fair to say that the individual suffering from passive aggression is worse off than those his behavior affects, but after a while it becomes difficult to know even that.
     Left to his own devices the passive aggressive man will sabotage even his own goals, waste time procrastinating, complaining, displacing blame, ruminating in his own negative thinking and never actually seeing that he has the power to end his own suffering through productive action (He sees it but his motto is "If I don't try I can't fail".) What happens in these relationships? The women become Kate; obsessive, controlling, emascualting, angry and ugly versions of themselves because they are trying to make life work for their families in the presence of a completely absent partner. He'll minimize and critisize everything that you identify as important and then deem you insane for caring about matching back-packs, a bedtime routine, a plan for the holidays, a clean floor or any other system you try to adopt to keep the family's heads above water. It's like steering a ship through a storm where you find yourself cutting the sails, navigating the boat, giving orders to the crew, dodging obstacles in the water, checking the maps and choosing the direction while he comes up from below to complain that his rain slicker has a hole in it and you need to chill out because look like a deranged pirate. I know, I'm so crazy. I should probably stop steering and let the boat sink and hopefully drift to my own island where there is no such thing as passive aggressive men. Hmmm.
     We've seen the worst of both Jon and Kate Gosselin but I so want bring awareness to the role of passive aggression in the disentegration of their marriage. His regressive, selfish and entitled behaviors are classic symptoms that, if identified, could shed light and maybe hope or at least understanding, to untold numbers of other couples. Neither of them deserve to be villified, though I find it difficult to conceal the anger I have towards Jon's behaviors. I have deep, passionate, loathe for personality disorders because they have affected my own life on so many levels and I've found no effective way to cope with them. Trying to have an effective, loving relationship with afflicted people simply doesn't seem possible; a constant catch 22, double bind trap where the only solution that has created any peace in my life has been complete detachment. Enough about me. What about Kate? What about Jon? What about you?
    Please share your insights on passive aggressive marriages or what you think we can learn from Jon and Kate. I'm choosing them as the poster marriage because their 'fame' creates a platform of awareness with the potential to offer hope for other couples dealing with the same dynamic. Share so we can learn.