When I did wake up, I actually felt OK. Not perky, but so much better. Maybe it helped that I didn't look like death anymore and that I didn't feel nearly as crabby and groggy as I had for the last few days. Because I felt better, I looked forward to having a couple of cups of half-caffeinated coffee rather than obsessing my way down to the last few drops pooled at the bottom of my mug.
I filled a few water bottles to sip on, and that made me feel even better. I got to work, I was productive, I laughed. Birds chirped and rainbows appeared and little mice wove me a celebratory gown of cornflower blue silk.
Clearly, it wasn't that good. But I was clear-minded enough to recognize that the caffeine was leaving my system and that the energy I had was (mostly) my own, not fabricated by large quantities of coffee.
At about two in the afternoon, I started to drag a bit. More water, a snack, and a cup of tea helped that. As I sat down with my cup of tea, I suddenly remembered several dreams I'd had the night before. I'm an avid dreamer -- or have been until the last six months or so -- and having strange or vivid or detailed dreams isn't a big deal. Normally. Except that in remembering my dreams, I realized I haven't been dreaming much lately.
Then it occurred to me that the reason for this is that I made a (bad) habit of pumping up with caffeine all day and even into the early hours of night so I could keep going and going and going until I crashed into my bed.
This thought led to big realization for me: In this pattern of caffeination and crashing, I'd lost all sense of my real energy level, of when I was really tired, and when I felt truly alert and awake.
Dreaming told me I was sleeping more soundly. Being awake at 7 a.m. told me I was rested and being yawning and losing some focus in the afternoon told me I was really tired. It was all good. Not the same and requiring some getting used to, but good.
So there it was, the boost I needed. One little realization about the basics of rest and self-care. That kept me going until 11, when I really, truly was ready for bed. And when, thankfully, I felt really, truly hopeful about Day Four.
Ever had a big realization that kept you focused on a goal? Share, share.
Follow my journey out of over-caffeination here:
[photo credit: Getty Images]
