For the last month, I've been fighting being frantic over a lump in my breast. It hasn't been easy. I've been examined, mammogrammed, and examined again. I still have another mammogram to get through next week -- this one an ultrasound, rather than the traditional boob-on-a-shelf variety -- and hopefully it will confirm what the other checks have shown. Fingers, toes, and (ahem) everything crossed, it will show what my doctor feels certain is the case: That the lump is indication that I have nothing more than cystic breasts.
Perhaps all of this information should stay tucked safely inside my bra. Perhaps you are shaking your head at why I am detailing the inner ducts of my breast in a post that is supposed to be about caffeine. The truth is that once I started talking about the lump and my worries, many of my women friends began revealing their own stories of mammograms and breast fibrousness and worrisome bits inside their own bras. They also started telling me about all of the ways they have responded by taking better care of their breasts.
I brought this up when I last met with my gynecologist and she told me that her patients who have cystic breasts have had a lot of luck reducing the lumpiness in their breasts by wearing a supportive bra (which many of us -- admit it -- do not do and which I have committed to in the last year), drinking more water (who of us couldn't stand to down a few more glasses a day?), and cutting the caffeine (this is where my heart sank).
I'd heard about the connection between cystic breasts and caffeine many times before from many of my friends as well as from articles. My doctor was understanding about how much caffeine I drink and wasn't insistent that I quit it completely, but she did say it was the one thing that would probably make the biggest difference in how lumpy and painful my breasts are.
I've known for months that I should probably cut back on the coffee. But now, with my breasts at the center of my attention, I also recognized that I needed to get serious. That would mean cutting way back. Maybe even quitting caffeine altogether.
I didn't have a deadline. I didn't have specific marching orders from my doctor. I didn't have any pressure other than the upcoming mammogram and the need to stop worrying so much about my breasts and my health. If the lumps freak me out, then I need to do everything I can to make the lumps go away.
Will it work magic? Probably not. Will it be easy? Oh h-e-l-l no. But if I can get dressed every morning without stressing that the cysts could be something bigger, Something Else, then it will be worth it.
Here's the plan: I've chosen to start today. Why? Because I'm out of coffee. It's as lazy and simple as that.
I'm not going to quit cold turkey, but I am going to wean myself slowly off of caffeine by adding decaffeinated coffee to my cup. I rarely drink sodas or tea, and I treat chocolate as an occasional treat, so I am not worried about getting caffeine anywhere else but my coffee mug (at least for now).
I am also going to follow the tips I found and detailed in this post, stocking up on ginger to make a tasty un-tea, filling up lots of water bottles to store in the fridge, maybe even mapping out some time to nap if I need to.
I am also choosing not to see this as my big goodbye to caffeine. Perhaps that's a psychological trick I am playing on my knowing self, and maybe it will be full of fail. But for now, I need to see it as just reducing the amount of caffeine I take in on a daily basis. By a lot. That's what I can handle in this moment.
I have a big road ahead of me, I know. And there's a Starbucks at every corner of it.
So what do you think I need to know as I cut the caffeine from my diet? What will lift me (and eventually, my bosom) through the withdrawal?
Turn off the coffee maker and read this instead:
[photo credit: Getty Images]
