The time has come for me to say something. I am the nerdy fat chick who was picked on in grade school, I am the girl who morphed into a bulemic and no one noticed, I am the woman who was verbally and physically abused by her (Ex) husband, I am a sencitive, intelligent, artistic soul who was hurt...and made stronger. I have been able to break lose of the roles and image stereotypes society has tried to impose on us all and become my own person. My own person whom I love, no matter what I look like or how much money I do or don't bring in. And I'm always so sad when I meet someone who is in the position I was in with no end in sight, and I try to help them when I'm able.
I've seen a lot of garbage floating around recently about how models' photos must be airbrushed before the photos go into the magazines, how women must look this way or not weigh over this weight to be beautiful and how men prefer the faked stereotype to real, beautiful, women. Not only does this make me very sad for the girls and young women who believe this tripe, but it makes me angry at the media who perpetually crams it down our throats. So, to my sister Goddesses in disguise out there, I'd like to offer up the words that I live by.
I Am More Than a Number
Wether I weigh 85 pounds or 585 pounds, that is no one's buisness but my own. My self-worth and worth to others is not based on my clothing size! I'm so sick of how society places a value on women for their size, causing many of us to starve ourselves to death for this screwed-up concept of perfection. Take a look in the mirror, ladies; you are perfect right now, at the size and shape you are, and there's scores of people out there who think you're perfect, too!
Those Who Matter Don't Mind, Those Who Mind Don't Matter
There are people out there--friends, family, your significant other--who will love you for who you are, reguardless of how you look (or how you think you look). They care about you for you, not because you were just on the cover of this-or-that. They think you're smart, witty, talented, a great mom, a hard worker, etc., etc., etc. They don't think that because you're above a size 2, you're worthless, and most of them would probably get pretty darned worried if you suddenly became a size 2!
My Whole is More Than the Sum of My Parts
I am an intelligent woman. I also happen to be a curvy one. On many, many occasions, I've considered coming out with a T-shirt line with eyes on the breasts that have a caption above them that reads: The Real Ones are Farther North. There have been times I've felt like a slab of prime in a meat market, and I know there's other women who feel the same (I'm aware that some of us enjoy the attention, but some of us don't!) and I feel awful that we have to go through that. Why can't people view us as engaging for our minds instead of their eyeballs falling out of their heads while staring at our bodies? We aren't public property and there's more to our rich inner books than their covers, guys!
I Love Me for Me
...And my peeps do, too! I have a wonderful man whom I have much in common with, many intriguing friends and a kick-ass family. I'm in a job I like, have many rewarding hobbies and keep myself much too busy. I admit that it took me a long time to even like myself and it was a difficult journey, but now I'm here and I've never been happier! I can't tell you how to go about the process; I'm not sure at times how I arrived at this conclusion myself, but I beg you all to love yourselves. Yes, you can!
It's Okay to Pamper Yourself a Little
If it's good for you and makes you feel good about yourself...do it! Save back a little money and get that fabulous pair of kicks or that gorgeous dress you've been drooling over all season. Invest in that makeup or perfume you've always wanted to try, or bring an old favorite back to your lineup. Have breakfast in bed curled up with a good book, a good movie, or your pooch! Sign up for that class you always wanted to take. Put away twenty bucks a week for that trip you always wanted to go on...and go! And if it's something that's bad for you...it's okay to indulge a little, in moderation. Just don't overdo it!
The Bottom Line
Don't let other people's opinions, catty comments, or society's unrealistic standard fuel your image of yourself. You are a fantastic person and you are in this moment exactly as you should be. Embrace your inner Goddess, love yourself for who you are, and know you're beautiful!
