Healthy Living

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Life with Cancer: Cancer and the workplace

This is a tricky topic--how to handle having cancer while having a job. One of our fabulous commenters, HUHoney60, posted this link to a NYTimes article about returning to work after a cancer diagnosis/treatment and I thought we should discuss. Some people, as I mentioned a few weeks ago, hide their cancer from coworkers. Others, um, like me, turn it into a career (the column! the book! the blog!). And then there are a whole lot of people in that gray area in between. But what's the best way to handle it?

We all know that I was diagnosed at work (over the phone) and held nothing back from coworkers. I never had to leave for an extended period for treatment and I never lost my hair. And even when I was doing the chemo shots on top of the Gleevec, I didn't feel too sick so for me me it wasn't so bad. I'm sure people around me were uncomfortable at times but I tried my best to make them realize I was still me. I do remember one day right after I was diagnosed--friends had sent me a bouquet of flowers with balloons attached and a fashion intern walked by my desk and said, "OMG, so cute, is it your birthday?" What was I supposed to say to that? Um, no, I was actually just diagnosed with cancer.... So yes, there will be times when it's just plain uncomfortable. But for the most part people are pretty cool about cancer, don't you think?

What has your experience been, either as the patient or the coworker of someone going through something like this: Do you make jokes about the cancer to ease the tension as the article suggests? Do you hold a press conference (I really wanted to...just so everyone knew what was going on and I didn't have to tell each person individually and assure them that I wasn't going to die). Or do you just pretend you were on a long vacation and just happened to get your head shaved? Thoughts?

--Erin


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Comments 1-10 of 17
  • popesmom's Avatar
    Posted by popesmom Mon Jun 9, 2008 11:45am PDT

    For some or many it is a very touchy subject. I for one lost my father to cancer and wish I could joke around about it. When I see people with cancer or even hear the word I feel a sense of loss for them and the family. Even if you beat the cancer it seems as though your life is no longer normal-some can use this as a good thing like you have and others continue on with life of fear.

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  • cyndi _w's Avatar
    Posted by cyndi _w Tue Jun 10, 2008 3:55pm PDT

    I'm a survivor. Fighting cancer is what I had to do. It does not define who I am although it made me a better person(Tim McGraw-Live like you were dying is my song!). I never hid my condition, though like you I didn't lose much hair. I accepted peoples best wishes as gracefully as I could (sometimes better than others! LOL)and answered questions as much as I felt comfortable with....I think its a personal battle, and every soldier survive the war differently.

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  • wayne's Avatar
    Posted by wayne Tue Jun 10, 2008 8:29pm PDT

    I currently have 8 heart stents, and Dr.s and I work on tweaking medicine all the time, because of leg cramps/muscle aches/etc. I also have a blood platelet count of 34,000 and a white cell count of 41.5. I am 67 years old, and as the saying goes.....should have taken better care of my body. I am scared as much as I ever have been. w_wilson2001@yahoo.com

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  • mandabear's Avatar
    Posted by mandabear Wed Jun 11, 2008 6:21am PDT

    My 20 month old son was diagnosed with cancer in 2004. I worked through all of his treatment and all my coworkers knew what was going on. First of all, I really appreciated their support, as that became the last "constant" in my life at that time. It was important for me to have something normal and regular (as best as possible) during that time in my life. Does that mean I always remained professional at my job? Not a chance. There were many times when I broke down in tears when someone would ask me how he was doing. But, all in all, the positives outweighed the negatives.

    One of my supervisors is in remission - he chose to do things a little differently than I did. He didn't "tell" people what was going on, but when people found out, as they do, he didn't "hide" anything either.

    I think people make the choice that's best for them, and that's how it should be. Some people don't want to talk about it, for others (like me) talking about it is therapy.

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  • Lisa B's Avatar
    Posted by Lisa B Wed Jun 11, 2008 11:42am PDT

    While I was out recovering from having my cancer cut out, my co-worker who was covering my desk told everyone I was on vacation!! Yeah - a week vacation that came up suddenly! Out of 50 folks at work, only 3 knew I was having cancer surgery. Not that I minded folks knowing, just no one asked!

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  • Lisa B's Avatar
    Posted by Lisa B Wed Jun 11, 2008 11:52am PDT

    actually that was a SIX week period that I was out of work following surgery - - the post dropped the numeral six [ 6 ] that I used in my first post....

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  • pixie's Avatar
    Posted by pixie Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:10pm PDT

    NO I WOULD NOT TELL MY CURRENT COWORKERS ANYTHING PERSONAL BECAUSE IF I DID THEY WOULD BE REPEATING IT TO THEIR FRIEND AND REALITIVES. THE HR DEPT. INCLUDED SINCE SHE'S THE OWNERS WIFE,AND I'M SURE THEY WOULD FIRE ME ANYWAY. GIVE SOME LAME EXCUSE ABOUT WORK PERFORMANCE YADDA YADDA. SO I KEEP ALL MY ISSUES TO MYSELF. YOU ARE UNDER NO OBGLIATION TO TELL YOUR EMPLOYER ANYTHING THAT IS RELATED TO YOUR HEALTH MENTAL OR OTHER WISE AND BY LAW THEY CAN'T ASK.

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  • Naomi's Avatar
    Posted by Naomi Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:24pm PDT

    I don't believe I would tell anyone, especially coworkers. My husband died of colon cancer ten years ago and everyone was really super to me when he was so ill, but as far as myself, I am pretty private and just would not want people to treat me any differently. Of course if I began losing my hair, I would probably just take a leave of absence and ask my superbvisor/boss not to tell the others.

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  • that1chk's Avatar
    Posted by that1chk Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:47pm PDT

    I've thought about this a little bit myself... and I dont know that I would want anyone at work knowing that I had cancer. I wouldn't want anyone treating me any differently because I have an illness. Then again, I dont know how I'd feel if I were ever faced with that issue. I may change my mind... Who knows?

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  • Ali's Avatar
    Posted by Ali Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:51pm PDT

    I was diagnosed with uterus cancer about a year and half ago. I told my boss, who I deeply trusted, because I wanted him to know why I was taking a week off. Normally, it wouldn't be my job's business why i'm taking off but he and I were friends as well so I trusted him. Needless to say, he told the departments managers and they told someone..etc etc. When I got back..I had 400 employees asking questions like, "heard you had cancer," "are you dying,"?? It made my job a living hell!

    I am very private person when it comes to things like that so I do not like people coming up to me and trying to feel sorry for me and asking if i'm okay a 1000 times a day! I dont really talk about to anyone except maybe a few close people I love. But, even then, I do not get into detail. It's just me...it's how I deal with things.

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