Life with Cancer: What's on your life-time to do list?

Hi! It's Lea and I'm over 200 days from my bone marrow transplant--it's amazing how quickly time can go (although at times it has certainly dragged on...). One thing I've realized is that time does not "wait" for you (nor cancer) and you can't hit the "pause" button on life.

When I was engaged to my now-husband, we came up with a "40 by 40" list. It was a list of goals/dreams that we wanted to accomplish by age 40 either individually--like Billy wanting to heli-ski (which I wanted no part of)--or shared hopes of having two children and traveling to China. For the most part this list has had to be scrapped due to us dealing with cancer, transplant, and the limitations placed on my/our lives for over two and a half years. I can't leave the U.S. at this point, as I don't have any immunizations nor can I receive them now, as many are live viruses, which could kill me without much of an immune system!

So, I want to make another list (can you tell I like lists?). This time the list would be far broader with less time restrictions placed on it. More like a life list of how I want to live my/our lives. I want our list to include more general ways of living: simply, giving more to others, spending more time with our families, taking longer walks at sunrise/sunset, and being grateful for each day. OK, deep down I still want to go to an Oprah show, swim with dolphins, and head to Peru but for now that is not going to happen. I can't be in direct sunlight, around large groups of people, put my head under water, or, like I said before, leave the country.

My life is getting better each day and I want this list to help me stay focused on what is truly important in my life. I want to hear your life lists, goals, hopes, and dreams too. Do you write them down? Do you cross them off when they're done? Do you add new items to your list and delete ones that you no longer want? Somehow for me when I write something down it makes it a little bit more real and helps me remember! --Lea

Be sure to check out Glamour's 15 ways how not to get cancer!

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Comments 1-9 of 9

Posted by JosieM111 Wed Jul 2, 2008 11:44am PDT

First, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Second, I started revamping my 40 before 40 as that number seems to be approaching (as reminded by my 34th birthday just a few weeks ago).
Some of my 40 before 40 includes:
*Meeting Oprah
*Stand on the Great Wall of China
*Get engaged on the Eiffle Tower - by my secret crush, of course
*Telling my family I love them more
*Actually completing my list before 40
Your post was a great reminder that life is short and precious.
Thank you for being my inspiration today.
Many blessings to you...
Josie.
www.lifeofjosiem.com

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Posted by Krishnakant-... Wed Jul 2, 2008 11:49am PDT

Hi
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he will 100% bless U, and turn up to see me. Just enjoy the joy of your life. Make it too long, just pull, stretch horizontally and vertically.
See u again.

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Posted by mama nance Wed Jul 2, 2008 3:27pm PDT

My best friend is having a bone-marrow transplant in two weeks. I hope and pray not only for your recovery, but for my friend's as well. Your grace is truly admirable, so many people get a diagnosis and they want to give up. My dear friend is also a fighter and I am humbled by wathcing what she has endured the past few years, and last six months in particular.
I hope you get to meet Oprah too.
My biggest goal is to marry someone for love, and no other reason
Best of luck to you
Mama Nance

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Posted by AC Thu Jul 3, 2008 11:08am PDT

I want a Ph.D and to publish something groundbreaking. A husband and daughter would also be nice. I'm sure there is more, but all others pale in comparison to those.

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Posted by playinnroses Thu Jul 3, 2008 2:32pm PDT

my list is simply.
1. to own my own home`'
2. to be a great mother to my three kids
3. to go to scotland
4. to help someone everyday
you should feel so good about your self. most people in your situation would just give up. You have decied to take the bull by the horns and live life. good for you.
oh and good lick meeting oprah

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Posted by c m Thu Jul 3, 2008 5:19pm PDT

I like your broad list because these are things that can't be crossed off, there is always something to strive to do each day by being present in the moment

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Posted by gschreck4 Sun Jul 6, 2008 7:48pm PDT

When my husband died, leaving me with 4 kids, I pretty much scrapped my list and started over. All I really wanted then was to see them grow up enough to be on their own and not all MY responsibility. And so they have. And I remarried and have seen and done more than I ever thought I would have. Even things I didn't think I wanted to do. There are a few things left..like snorkling...but my wish was granted with wonderful grownup kids and peace in my life. You never know what will happen as Lea says. So be ready to make an adventure out of each day. Find an adventure, even if it's just trying a fruit you never have before. Live, really live, and don't regret the things that might never happen.

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Posted by johnsonbca Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:37pm PDT

Lea, I empathize with you and your list! I am about 230 days past transplant. The transplant seems to have completely wiped out my leukemia, but it was not an exact match and I have ongoing issues with graft vs. host disease (GVHD). It attacked my eyes and left me with little vision in my left eye and now it is mounting a full attack on my teeth; looks like I may lose most of my molars. Yet, I am as happy as I've ever been. My husband and are very close and my adult children and grandchildren are lively and attentive. I had dreamed vaguely of finding the time to go on a spiritual retreat in 2002 when I was first diagnosed. When I got a remarkable remission we sold our house in Palo Alto and moved to Boston where I have just finished a Masters' in Theology. We are now moving to a beach house near my daughter and her family. We love to travel,but we are learning to appreciate how much virtual travel is on NPR, Discovery Channel, and National Geographic. I wake up to Sunrise Earth; it is a comfortable way to visit Peru. Your list says it for me: "living simply, giving more to others, spending more time with our families, taking longer walks at sunrise/sunset, and being grateful for each day. OK, deep down I still want to go to an Oprah show, swim with dolphins, and head to Peru but for now that is not going to happen. I can't be in direct sunlight." I have a new collection of sun block shirts for a road trip we'll take to see friends and family in the Midwest before we setting into NC. God Bless You, Lea; thanks for sharing your wish list.

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Posted by teachergirl Mon Jul 28, 2008 9:00am PDT

Prayers are with you! I just watched the movie on the subject this weekend. A few years ago, I had brain surgery during my son's senior year. As a single parent, that was terrifying. I adopted Tim Mc Graw's "Live Like You Were Dying" as kind of my motto song. 3 & 1/2 years later, I'm remarried and that was because I started truly taking risks and living. Also inspiring is Randy's "Last Lecture". I think we get so busy with daily drudgery we forget to truly live, laugh and love. So, while I don't have a "list", I'd say doing those three things to the fullest is important.

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