Wanna know why skinny girls are so mean? It's not their personality; they're just hungry.
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Katie Wisdom Weinstein: I am not thrilled to say that for my summer vacation (I do not really get a vacation), I am on a diet for the first time in my 41 years. Good God, chaos reigns supreme. See, I am the kind of girl who drinks beer, runs around with kids, makes chow for lots of people, and really appreciates the taste and texture that mayonnaise brings to any dish. I thought at one time that I wanted to die happy and fat, not skinny and mean.
I have a dress to fit into by October for a fancy shindig. Since I
am no spring chicken, it takes a while for anything to go away on
this body. I still run around with the kids, but my body is not
reacting the way I need it to, and definitely not fast enough. So,
I diet.
I have cut out bread, carbs, alcohol (sort of), and sweets. I am
now a b---- . While you lovingly eat
ice cream and sandwiches, I eat salad. I might hate you a
little bit. To really torture myself, I chose to do this in the
summer, when cold beer goes down like butter. Remember summer
concerts, picnics, and beer? A thing of my past.
My kids are confused by my increased passion for salads -- I think
they want their "ice cream cones and candy all around!"
mom back. They might be a little disturbed by my new puppy dog
eyes. I should just get on the dining room floor and look at them
like I have never eaten a meal, like our dog does. I could beg and
do tricks for
treats! Wait, how much fat is in one of those tasty puppy
treats?
I even bore myself now. There is nothing worse than discussing
non-fattening food. I can talk about starting a roux, or the most
delicious pie until the cows come home, but trans fats and
calories? Can it, Sister.
I have a new theory: some skinny girls are bitches because they are
just really, really hungry. That's me. I am in detox from sugar
and fat. I am jonesin' for a cupcake or a margarita, but
instead I get low-fat string cheese, fruit, and water. Yay.
Now I have to really step up the exercise.
I work full-time, so I could sneak it in at lunch. It is no secret
that I do not love exercise for the sake of exercise. I love to
dance, run around in the park, play, bike, swim, and wrestle. I do
not love exercise clothes,
sweaty gym equipment, or girls who can wear yoga half-shirts. I
imagine that the second tier of b---- will soon come out. She is
nasty, so I have to keep her under wraps. At least until this
fancy-dress-shindig is over!
Read more: No Carbs + No Beer = Mean Mommy
Katie Wisdom Weinstein is a professional modern momma. She lives in Portland, Oregon in a 100 year old house with her husband, Jess, and her two children Ruby, age 10 and Skylar, age 12. Cooking, camping, negotiating with pre-teens and allowing a zoo of animals in her house are her pastimes.
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Read more: http://www.momlogic.com/2009/08/no_carbs_no_beer_equals_mean_mommy.php#ixzz0PIvSdiwt
