Healthy Living

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Shh...Don't tell the parents: We don't have as much influence on our children's eating habits as we thought

When the moment came for my son to eat food -- real food, not breastmilk and not that goopy rice cereal stuff -- I overhauled almost all the food in my kitchen pantry and refrigerator. Clearly, it wasn't that he was at risk for getting Doritos and Diet Coke at 6 months old. But I was bound and determined to give him the best food I could give him. For me, that meant making my own baby food from scratch. It also meant that I needed to make sure my own diet was healthier. If he was eating off of a plate, I reasoned, he'd eventually notice what was on mine, too.

The food on my plate got healthier once I got pregnant (or as much as it could around all the aversions and cravings), and my diet maintained while I nursed. There was definitely room for improvement, and as I mashed bananas and studied labels of stage one and stage two snacks, it seemed like the perfect opportunity for our whole family to eat better.

We're not perfect. We have popsicles in the freezer and are slowly but surely making our way through too much Easter candy. But we choose organics as often as we can, do our very best not to consume any high fructose corn syrup, get excited about superfoods like quinoa, and are working very hard on eating a lot more vegetables. In each of the four years since I introduced my son to solid foods, we've acquired more and more healthy eating habits in our home.

I know I don't have complete control over how my child eats -- he goes through the drive-thru with his dad and loads up on juice boxes and Cheetos at playdates and begs for fruit snacks loaded with gunky stuff. I'm OK with that because I know he not only has good stuff to eat here, he also has good modeling. And I admit that it helps me through some of my own weak moments to think, "Do I really want my kid walking in on me with my face in this bag of chips?"

So, we're good. I will keep eating better and he will grow up to manifest the best of our nutritional attempts at health and wellness. Right?

Well, probably not. At least according to new study published in Social Science and Medicine surveying the eating habits of parents and children.

The "nationally representative sample" of 2,291 parents (aged 20 to 65-years old) and 2,692 children (aged 2 to 18-years old) did not find a significant relationship between the carbohydrates and fats the parents and children consumed. That is, the kids are not eating the same as their parents, even when the parents' education and socioeconomic status are factored in.

One author of the study commented, "This suggests that parents don’t play as large a role as people have thought in their children’s diet."

I have to admit, this study worries me. And not because I have visions of my child filling his precious little organs full of trans fats and pesticides.

What concerns me is that many parents are not eating well in front of their kids. In fact, that same researcher seemed to have the same interpretation, saying pretty pointedly, "Most parents are not doing as good a job as they should.”

It also concerns me that parents will read a study like this one and give up the healthy eating habits they have. With the pinch of the economy, the extra time it may take to make a burger instead of stock up on fast food, and the extra energy it may take to read labels, make meal plans, and be more conscientious, it would be easy to chuck it all and feed the family the easy, cheap (and often, still yummy) stuff. I fear that the healthy stuff may not seem worth it, that some kind of exhausted logic will take over.

The study suggests that children become more influenced by their peers as they get older. This makes sense. Once children can choose where to buy their lunch or are raiding refrigerators late at night or in charge of fixing their own dinner, of course they are not going to do a quick mental count of how many servings of veggies they've had before deciding on a pizza topping.

But what if those kids get to that point in their life and they have no understanding at all about how to fuel their bodies for soccer practice or study sessions or just growing? What if they eat all that junk with their friends and then come home and sit down to a dinner of food that's just as unhealthy as what they've been eating all day? Don't we have enough families in this country who are all candidates for heart disease or refrigerator make-overs or "The Biggest Loser"?

I believe that a lot of families do not eat healthfully because the parents do not have the information or resources or guidance that they need. And let's face it, it's hard. 

I also believe that it is worth it. Even if our kids end up being the Burger Kings themselves, even if we can only take on a few simple healthy eating habits, isn't the message that our bodies and our wellness are worth the time and money and effort invaluable?

We don't have to be perfect, but I do think we have to try. So that one day, when our kids come home from college with bellies full of beer and Ramen Noodles and Twinkies, we can be assured that we can fill a plate for them and for ourselves full of the good stuff. So that one day, when they are making dinner for their own family, they at least remember what it's like to share a nutritious meal with the people they love.

How much influence do you think you have on your children's eating habits?

Did you grow up in a family where eating healthy was a priority?


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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 23
  • Lucky's Avatar
    Posted by Lucky Mon Jun 8, 2009 1:10pm PDT

    You have to start out when they are toddlers. Always have a bowl of fresh fruit on the table. It works!

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  • tina's Avatar
    Posted by tina Mon Jun 8, 2009 1:20pm PDT

    I think you are doing a good job on teaching your children how to live a healthy lifestyle. I don't think I would go as far to make my own baby food, but I see where you're coming from. I don't keep junk food in my house and when it is present... it is only consumed in reasonable serving sizes. I think it is important for parents to start teaching their kids healhty choices as they grow up. A sliced apply with peanut butter tastes soo much better than fruit snacks. And celery with cream cheese is very yummy too. If kids know they have something delicious to eat, they won't need the little debbie snacks and bags of cheetos. I have a junk food reward system. I can give a dollar at the end of the week if they have been good, or they can choose one snack (candy bar, pack of oreos) the snacks are kept high out of reach of course, out of sight out of mind. The truth is we know our kids more than likely indulge outside of the house, so we need to teach them healhty choices before they have the option to go against what we give them. At least we can be in charge of what they eat for breakfast lunch and dinner =)

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  • April Hughes's Avatar
    Posted by April Hughes Mon Jun 8, 2009 4:48pm PDT

    I was raised by a microbiotic vegetarian, and felt totally deprived. Whenever I could, I would eat crap at friend's houses, and if I got money, sneak off to McDonald's. You can't force kids to eat like you, and the whole situation completely backfired. I have the palate of a 10 year old, love junk food, and am obese.

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  • InLove's Avatar
    Posted by InLove Tue Jun 9, 2009 6:32am PDT

    I grew up in a healthy home. My favorite foods as a child were yellow squach, spinach, and plain cheerios. To this day I still eat healthy, never have had soda unless forced, and do not like candy except chocolate. Vegetables and fruit are still my favorite foods despite growing up around kids who ate crap. You son may turn out the same way.

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  • Liz's Avatar
    Posted by Liz Tue Jun 9, 2009 7:55am PDT

    This is a great one to keep coming back to.

    My mother also made home-made baby food, insisted that sugar-cereals were for Saturday mornings only and that apples and baby carrots were a better choice for brown bag lunches, than Twinkies. My father also hunted most of the meat we ate (fish, deer, birds, rabbit etc..) despite the fact that we lived in the city. It was a strange mix, but wonderfully enriching!

    After a 10 year battle with anorexia, it was this healthy, whole foods foundation that I was able to return to, to get to where I am today. I learned that whole food and home-made are best, but that there is a time and place for treats and that food can be fun. I'm still working to embrace the 'food can be fun' idea, but my day-to-day diet is tight and strong and I thank both my parents for that.

    My step-father, on the other hand, came in with his KFC, soda, canned foods, take-out and boxed pastries. His idea of dinner was fried dough. Oddly enough, that's when my eating disoder started; which we joke about now. He delivered Sunbelt snacks to supermarkets so we had a closet of chocolate covered granola bars. I made friends with that closet until I couldn't stand 'the process' any more, and just stopped eating.

    Long story, workin on the book, but anyhoo, greatful for those early years of healthy food.

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  • Puddin's Avatar
    Posted by Puddin Tue Jun 9, 2009 7:55am PDT

    My parents were relatively healthy eaters; we had a salad and a vegetable at virtually every meal. I was only allowed sugar cereals as rewards. After dinner, I was allowed to choose one piece of candy out of a bowl on top of the refrigerator. We did have a large garden and I was a part of that. I was encouraged to try anything (within reason) on a menu when dining out, and I learned to love oysters on the half shell when I was four! I think that learning to see food as an experience to be savored (growing your own, trying unusual things) helped me to develop a healthy relationship with it and make smart choices. I do love a good plate of nachos or pizza here and there, but I tend to lean towards freshly prepared natural foods.

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  • AMBER C's Avatar
    Posted by AMBER C Tue Jun 9, 2009 8:23am PDT

    I was raised on a farm so my favorite foods were strawberries and tomatoes straight off the vine. When we would go to the grocery store I would beg for asparagus. We picked fresh chiles from neighboring farms on our way home to eat for dinner. I also became a vegetarian/pescetarian at the age of 17 (I'm almost 31 now) and still eat pretty healthy. I occasionally hit the office vending machine but I drink red and green teas, eat whole grains, and love salmon. Good eating habits really do stick with you. Stay positive with your kid, show him a good role model, and all will be well.

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  • caligirl's Avatar
    Posted by caligirl Tue Jun 9, 2009 9:39am PDT

    i think your tasete develop when you are a a kid. whne i was growing my dad trained for marathons. which ment low fat high carbs, and to this days thats what i like and what i eat, i prefer low fat to no fat otpions and i don't like greesy foods. and i go crazy over bread pastas and rice...

    i think to some extent you like what you like what you are used to

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  • momof3's Avatar
    Posted by momof3 Tue Jun 9, 2009 10:17am PDT

    One of the biggest problems today isn't what we eat but how much we eat. Servings are supersized when you go out, which honestly then makes people think they need more at home - even the size of a regular dinner plate has gotten bigger! If we have fast food - which is a treat - we eat off the dollar menu because the portions are much smaller! We get our fill(usually a sandwich and salad (my son lives for salad) or fries) and go on. Eat healthfully most of the time, indulge occasionally - and unless there is a medical problem, don't make any food taboo because that just makes it more appealing.

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  • HawkeyeGirl's Avatar
    Posted by HawkeyeGirl Tue Jun 9, 2009 12:13pm PDT

    I think the key is moderation. Eat mostly healthy foods, but teach your child that if you live an active, healthy life, treats are okay once in awhile.

    I think that's probably what happened with you, April H-if your family was super-restrictive and treats were never okay, you wanted them more. My mom's one never-break rule was that we were not allowed to have sugary cereal, ever. When I went away to college I lived on Lucky Charms, Trix and Sugar Pops for a month just because I could! I can't stand them anymore, but it was fun at the time to be a rebel.

    Like Amber C, I grew up on a farm and food from the garden was great. I remember picking strawberries to eat, and eating raw peas straight out of the pod. My grandmother owned her own bakery though, and when we went to visit we sampled cakes, cookies and candy. A little bit of everything now and then is good.

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