Growing up in Chicago, winters were frigid. I clearly remember spending twenty minutes being bundled in my massive snowsuit, only to be back inside ten minutes later, frozen solid. It was all worth it, though, for the cocoa. A steaming hot mug of chocolate, dark and rich, was my reward for the painful adventure.
I spent a few obsessive years eating no sugar at all, so when I re-introduced it, cocoa was a sugary sweet I fantasized about. As soon as winter came along, I was fully stocked with my little packets. I was obsessed. With marshmallows. Without. The red box. The blue box. I needed my cocoa every night. It was a ritual. I loved my cocoa.
That is, until I actually slowed down enough to taste it.
The truth is, brand after brand of the cocoa I had savored as a kid actually tasted, as an adult, a bit like cardboard, and stinging metal.
When I started bringing attention the moment of eating, I eventually found that I actually disliked most store-bought cookies and cakes, and all of the sickly-sweet foods I loved in childhood. Honestly, given all the choices in your adult world, would there be any reason to choose a Twinkie today, other than it’s emotional resonance for you?
When we cultivate attention, we can find the foods we actually, deeply love—and eat them! And since we’re eating in the present moment, and not as a five-year-olds getting our treats after a snowstorm, we’re awake enough to feel real satisfaction, and to know when our bodies have had enough. It’s exciting!
