Healthy Living

Friday, July 3, 2009

The 9-inch diet is 10 lbs. of crap in a 5. lb bag

nine_inch_diet.jpg
Did you know that the world needed even more diet books? Because apparently it does. I'm predicting that you're going to hear a lot about the impending release of a new book called The 9-Inch Diet by Alex Bogusky and Chuck Porter. I know there's not much to go on via that title, because the first thing that came to my mind was that they were suggesting the calorie-burning benefits of having a well-endowed bed partner, but in reality, they are suggesting that you use a 9-inch plate for your meals, thereby reducing your portion sizes. There, now you don't have to buy the book because certainly there can be no more insight between the cover page and the index than "eat less, move more." Clearly, these so-called diet gurus aren't going to import more wisdom than that because they aren't doctors, personal trainers, nutritionists, psychologists or even life coaches. They own a very successful advertising agency. They shill for a living and are experts at figuring out ways to get people to spend money. So much for authority on a subject!

Elastic Waist has the real reason why you have a hard time staying on a diet

By the way, my late great-grandmother used to tell me that same wisdom in the '70s. She also suggested drinking two giant glasses of cold water before meals. She also felt that skipping dessert was foolish because you'd just find yourself in the kitchen eating it over the sink later, so cut yourself a small piece and eat it off a plate with a fork so that it feels real. Actually, she called small pieces "a snibbering," but if someone had told her that one of her little diet tricks was going to be the subject of an entire book, she would have said "Baaaah!" and shooed her hands as though to clear the air from such ridiculous notions. Clearly, we should have gotten a tape recorder and took notes because apparently she was a gold mine of diet wisdom

Top 10 diet tips Elastic Waist doesn't follow



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Comments 1-10 of 16
  • Gwen's Avatar
    Posted by Gwen Thu Aug 28, 2008 10:37am PDT

    That is a stupid book. You could just pile the plate higher, and not do anything to help yourself, but instead to simply LOOK like a pig.

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  • Barachiel's Avatar
    Posted by Barachiel Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:26pm PDT

    Oh I can't wait till the first client pops up with this one :)

    It amazes me how people can take one little principle and create a book, well thats capitalism for you. And unfortunately it will never stop.

    My old Physiology prof had a standing bet for the last ten years of his tenure. Come up with a diet book, any crazy idea you can think of. And if he can't find a book using that idea/principle he'd give you $500 cash and an A for the entire semester.

    In ten years there was never a winner.

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  • Rhi Johnson's Avatar
    Posted by Rhi Johnson Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:54pm PDT

    Try Yoga :)

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  • mabcosmic's Avatar
    Posted by mabcosmic Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:22pm PDT

    I look at it this way. To lose weight you must eat less, no matter what diet you are on. But I think stuff like this is more diet industry crap. If someone is ready to eat less, then they will eat less. They won't need a book and a nine inch plate to do it. Then we wonder why the diet industry nets forty billion a year from Americans. They don't help solve the problems of the obese, they just make their relationship to food even more complicated (that way there's more repeat buyers too).

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  • biscuiteater's Avatar
    Posted by biscuiteater Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:23pm PDT

    I seriously love your posts! Insightful, funny, sharp witted, and just plain fun. You make my work day that much less of a drag, and I thank you for it. I too am a lover of pointing out the irony in things, and an entire book dedicated to something so simple by someone who is not a trained expert smacks of trickery to make the almighty buck.

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  • mabcosmic's Avatar
    Posted by mabcosmic Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:36pm PDT

    I just thought of something...

    There could be another way of seeing the title "the nine inch diet"

    hehehehe

    Hey don't blame me! It's THEIR marketing ploy!

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  • Barachiel's Avatar
    Posted by Barachiel Thu Aug 28, 2008 3:13pm PDT

    Hmmm

    Burns calories, improve cardio, lowers stress levels. You may be on to something mabcosmic. The controversy alone would handle the media exposure.

    You should do an e-book.

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  • mabcosmic's Avatar
    Posted by mabcosmic Thu Aug 28, 2008 3:23pm PDT

    And not to mention it's low in carbs, high in protein that will help retain lean muscle mass during weight loss...

    Wait. Is it really wise for me to consider this? But I *might* sell a lot of ebooks though. Hmmm.

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  • SuzanneS's Avatar
    Posted by SuzanneS Thu Aug 28, 2008 5:06pm PDT

    These guys represent BURGER KING!!! They are a client of their agency, what frauds...

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  • Angela's Avatar
    Posted by Angela Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:31pm PDT

    "So much for authority on a subject!"

    Pot/kettle.

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Comments 1-10 of 16

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