You probably weren’t aware that you’ve spoken in code today. But you have.
You probably weren’t aware that you even knew code. But you do.
Think back on the last self-critical thought that flew through your mind today about your body. Any thought. Or any of the thirty you had before breakfast. What were they, specifically, and what were the words you used? Most of us have one or two body parts we pick on the most. Were those the parts you picked on this morning? And what words did you actually use? For instance:
- · My stomach sticks out too much.
- · My butt is huge.
- · My arms and breasts are droopy.
- · My fat jiggles all over.
- · My skin feels loose; my legs have no tone or strength.
When we say these things to ourselves, we take them at their word, right? My stomach really does stick out too much. And yet, as you look around, you can probably find dozens of people whose stomachs stick out even more than yours, but who've never have a second thought about it. It's not that they are all perfectly self-accepting; they might be busy thinking about their chests or derrieres. But it’s not an unquestionable fact, known far and wide, that your stomach sticks out too much. Or your butt.
These are your experiences of your stomach and butt; and, by extension, these are your experiences of yourself in the world. Are you starting to see the code?
Take the most common self-complaint you lodge when you look in the mirror. Now, in place of the body part you’re complaining about, put the word, “I”.
I stick out too much. I feel loose and jiggly. I have no strength.
I realize you’re reading this in the uber-fast online world, so slow down and repeat. Put the word “I” into your complaint, instead of your body part. Say the statement again. Is there a deeper truth—or deeper fear—there?
Every single time you question or criticize a body part, challenge yourself to look closer at what is really going on. Client after client have similar experiences. Marcy got a high “A” on a major exam that was posted for other students to see, and spent days agonizing about her “stomach” sticking out too much. Shellaine’s husband went into the hospital for a serious procedure, and she criticized her body for being loose and jiggly, rather than recognizing the fear and anxiety shaking her up inside.
And you? Are you committed enough to your own healing that you can stop taking yourself literally, and start looking at the creative ways your emotions come out sideways in your words and thoughts?
The rewards of choosing which thoughts you listen to, and which you question, will be some of the greatest on your healing journey.
So, the next time you talk to your butt, make sure your clever, interpretive self is also listening.
