Healthy Living

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Things you don't need: a banana guard

This is not what you think it is! Or maybe you don't automatically flash to a very pornographic place when you look at this big yellow phallic contraption. This, you see, is a banana guard! That guards your banana! I must tell you that bananas are my absolutely favorite fruit that ever was, and have always had the top spot in my heart since I was first able to form opinions about fruits. In fact, I have at my house this moment, a banana-flavored beer that I could not resist buying, despite the fact that I do not even LIKE beer.

But my biggest banana pet peeve, after the weird little brown plug thing at the bottom (which I call "banana anus"), is a prematurely bruised and therefore tainted banana, so I can understand and appreciate the level of OCD that would lead to developing an entire business venture devoted to the prevention of battered bananas. But I think I'm insensitive to the crises that our lunch is undertaking every day, because really, I look at this and think, "Wow, what a completely worthless plastic piece of crap." Clearly, I am very silly.

If you hate eating a bruised banana, instead of sticking it into this weird fruit condom, maybe you can just turn it into banana soufflé instead?

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Comments 1-5 of 5
  • popesmom's Avatar
    Posted by popesmom Tue May 20, 2008 2:17pm PDT

    LORD - did you just write banana anus!?!?!? I just laughed way to loud at the office--U R CRAZY!

    BOSS !!!! Got to go!

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  • Deblovestv's Avatar
    Posted by Deblovestv Tue May 20, 2008 3:31pm PDT

    We call in banana hiney in my house :)

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  • DillyDalia's Avatar
    Posted by DillyDalia Tue May 20, 2008 5:42pm PDT

    Freeze bananas once they become inedible. Then, once you've acquired a decent amount, pop in a blender with some OJ and have a smoothie! Or dip into melted chocolate... either way, you won't notice the bruises anymore.

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  • Dawn Incognito's Avatar
    Posted by Dawn Incognito Wed May 21, 2008 12:52pm PDT

    hahahahaha this is hilarious.

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  • goober's Avatar
    Posted by goober Wed Jun 25, 2008 2:30pm PDT

    Sooo funny! But what if your banana is too large, or shaped wrong and won't fit? What if it is extremely small and just looks silly in that large plastic thing? Won't that set off the OCD alarm?? And how does that make the banana feel?

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