Part of the reason I was a skinny little thing back then is because I was a late bloomer. Years later, I had a college roommate who said she got her boobs, period and driver's license all in one week, and that made me laugh because that is pretty much how my own mid-high school experience played out. I just happened to add boyfriend to that list then, too.
My body was changing rapidly and that was a good thing. But as I was growing and developing (as I should have), my boyfriend began making comments about my boobs and hips and weight. He did it in a way that seemed casual but still held an assertive message. Bigger -- to him, at least -- not better. Well, unless it was him getting bigger by lifting weights or eventually putting on the Freshman 15 on the Great Frat Boy Diet of Bad Beer and Taco Bell. Even though I was a smart and opinionated and level-headed girl back then, I was also sixteen and in love and very aware of how I sized up among my friends.
So I did what many of us did during slightly desperate and silly and misguided moments like those: I went on my own version of the grapefruit diet.
I thought it would be a quick and easy way to drop a few pounds -- a few pounds I didn't need to drop at all. But I was determined and so I ate only grapefruit and drank water for the first two meals of the day, then had a regular dinner with the family. I was careful not to let my family see me trying to make a meal out of a grapefruit, which is plenty of indication I knew then that it wasn't healthy or wise.
Still, I kept it up for three days. I aimed to do it for a week, but on the afternoon of that third day, I got a flash of light-headedness and slowly wobbled backward to the floor. I didn't pass out but I came very close. My teacher helped me to my feet and then sent me to the nurse's office, where I drank water and gobbled down a bag of chips I found in my backpack.
I was groggy and hungry and irritated at myself that I felt so awful and ashamed. All of that to lose a little bit of weight for an insignificant boy.
I wish I could say I learned my lesson that day, but I didn't. Long after that boyfriend was out of the picture, I went on many diets, weight loss plans and exercise programs to try to squeeze my body back into "skinny little thing" shape. Some of that was to try to un-do my own Freshman 15 on the Great Welcome to College Where You Can Eat Lucky Charms and Ice Cream for Dinner Diet. Some of those attempts were healthy and some were not at all. Some of them worked for a while and some of them only inspired crabbiness and cravings.
The one thing I haven't done since the grapefruit diet debacle is try to lose weight for a man. It doesn't mean my intentions have always been the greatest or the messages to myself have always been empowering, but it is one part of the equation I am glad I've since left out.
I'm also happy to say I've never tried the grapefruit diet again. I do enjoy grapefruit, but now am good having it as a part of a much healthier breakfast rather than as the entirety of my meal. I glad to report I've never done the Master Cleanse or cabbage diet or lemon diet or miso soup diet or any of that other craziness that leads us to feel hungry and irritated, to be completely unhealthy and misguided, and to eventually end up on the floor.
As for the boyfriend, I delighted in the irony that he'd gained a good deal of weight when I ran into him on the street a few years ago. Of course, I wouldn't wish ill will or health upon him. But I did laugh to myself to think that maybe, just maybe, all that criticism was thrown back at him like rotten, karmic fruit.
Now you weigh in: What's the dumbest diet you've ever tried?
[photo credit: Getty Images]
