Aeeeeeeiiieee! I can
NOT stand the suspense for tonight's America's Next Top Model finale! It's down
to Anya (I'm sure she's a very lovely girl but the dippy sing-songy accent
automatically subtracts IQ points), annoying size 0 Fatima, and plus-size Whitney, who is a plus-size model and also, a plus-size model. The Top Editors
have been all but telegraphing an Anya win since the second episode, and the
girl just has to look cross-eyed at a challenge to assure a win. Even so, my heart of
hearts is still pining for a first Top Plus-Size Model, even though Whitney
sometimes wallows in fakey fakeness and, as Rich points out, she kind of looks
like Blair (Warner, not Waldorf) in her own blonde hair.
But really, I honestly
don't give a flying Miss J. if my Next Top Model has a fake personality. I know,
I know, the real contest is not about the girl who will be on the cover of Vogue
or even Self (because we all know Kelly Ripa has that in the bag) but rather, who
will star in the series of Cover Girl commercials that will air during the
following season of ANTM. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy and also, it's
whack! Granted, I almost never watch commercials (unless it's the weekly American
Idol/Ford "video"), but I'm almost certain that I've never seen Saleisha's
annoying mug peeking out at me when I fast-forward during my weekly Gossip Girl
fix. And only recently has Fatima gotten called out for her refusal to
take direction (and man, I know someone like that, who starts nodding
when you're giving criticism as though, "Oh yeah, I know, I KNOW!" when
----- , please, if you knew then I wouldn't have to talk to you about
this. It's amazing that Jay Manuel doesn't do more than roll his eyes
at her). So really, what does the title mean, other than being a shill
for Cover Girl? Probably not that much. And it's not like you need
personality for that gig. After all, look at Naima, who might as well
have been a sheet of plywood paneling during 3/4s of her season (er,
cycle).
So what I'm really
doing right now, if you can't tell, is trying to convince myself that it won't
mean anything if Whitters gets second or third place and is psychologically demoted to the Fat Best Friend of the Next
Top Model. But really, I'm telling you right now that if Whitney actually does pull it out (a feat perhaps involving a sexual favor for Nigel and maybe also
Paulina), I may burst into song or perhaps insert the term "plus-size model" into casual conversation
whenever I can for the next week in Whitney's honor.
Go Whitney
go!
Related Links from Elastic Waist and SELF:
Will ANTM have its first plus-size winner? The anticipation is killing us
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Comments 1-2 of 2
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Posted by Thu May 15, 2008 10:16pm PDT
Report AbuseI am glad Whitney won, but because I thought she was the most down the earth out of all the girls! Really, it was hard to pick my favorite because they all seemed a bit over-the-top...but I guess the show just wants ratings and for some reason we are interesting in watching stupid girls fighting over a title that hardly makes a dent into their career, honestly...where the hell did EVA PIGFORD go...? Now I liked her... Oh well, good job Whitney.. I hope your celebration including eating Fatmia!!
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