Healthy Living

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Would you tell your partner how much you weigh?

I love this post about the one thing we won't do in front of our partners, up now in Love + Sex. It made me laugh, it made me think and it made just a little grossed out to read (OK, skim) the 400 (and counting) comments. The reason why it's funny and thought provoking, and yes, even rather disgusting is because it's true that there are those things we just cannot bring ourselves to reveal in even the most intimate relationships.

To get my mind off of some of the bathroom behavior some readers (oh no, not you) clearly felt comfortable revealing in the comments but not to their boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse (strange, true), I turned my attention to healthy living.  Surely, I thought, there are aspects of our diet, exercise and well-being we don't feel comfortable sharing with the ones we love.

Before that thought was fully formed in my mind, I knew exactly what it was I could not reveal to a partner. My weight.

And really, that holds true whether the scale is up or down for me, whether I'm with a long-term partner or have just met someone new. It was at that point I remembered that a guy I dated for about five minutes a million years ago asked me to tell him what size I wore. At the time, it was a smaller size than I'd been wearing for years, but I am sure when I gasped he knew I was uncomfortable with telling him anyway. He back-pedaled, explaining awkwardly that he might like to buy me clothes (which was weird enough in itself) and so it would be nice to have all my sizes and measurements.

Umm, no thanks. A gift card will do nicely. That's what I thought then, and honestly, what I think now, years later and with a body image that is thankfully much, much better.

Even when I was with my (almost-ex) husband, I cringed to let him see the weight I tapped into my heart rate monitor or even stand too close to the scale when we both joined Weight Watchers before our wedding. Analyze as much as you'd like, but it just felt like my size and weight were my private domain and any way my spouse supported me could be done without specific statistics.

What about you? Would you tell your partner how much you weigh? Does (clothing) size matter when you're being honest with your spouse?


[photo credit: Getty Images]






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Comments 1-10 of 74
  • opiniononly's Avatar
    Posted by opiniononly Mon Oct 6, 2008 3:00pm PDT

    What's the alternative? Lying?

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  • Superwoman's Avatar
    Posted by Superwoman Mon Oct 6, 2008 3:31pm PDT

    Of course!!! What's there to be ashamed of? He can see that I'm little.

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  • ashlee's Avatar
    Posted by ashlee Mon Oct 6, 2008 4:12pm PDT

    we always compare i am always smaller than him. besides he loves me.

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  • skinnychic7's Avatar
    Posted by skinnychic7 Mon Oct 6, 2008 4:13pm PDT

    weight is just a number, and they already know how you look, so why don't you be honest and tell them what you weigh. i am honest with my partner about my weight and i think that honesty in all things brings us closer.

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  • Like Woah, its Abby's Avatar
    Posted by Like Woah, its Abby Mon Oct 6, 2008 5:00pm PDT

    I'm honest with my weight. Its just a number, so be truthful. Don't lie they can tell, trust me. l0l

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  • lypglossqueen's Avatar
    Posted by lypglossqueen Mon Oct 6, 2008 5:04pm PDT

    I weigh more than my boyfriend and he knows it. no big deal. We are trying to get pregnant and we both know what'll happen if I do.

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  • Doris R's Avatar
    Posted by Doris R Mon Oct 6, 2008 5:26pm PDT

    Yes I'd tell my husband how much I weigh so he won't sabotage my weight loss. My dress size does mean a lot because I worry how my clothes fit, to him not much. If he can look at me and tell the weight gain he'll say something sometimes.

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  • SilverFlower123's Avatar
    Posted by SilverFlower123 Mon Oct 6, 2008 8:06pm PDT

    He knows.....

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  • lauren h's Avatar
    Posted by lauren h Mon Oct 6, 2008 9:09pm PDT

    I never really thought about my weight as a number, until I gained a lot .. and I mean a lot in the last 14 months.. when I discovered it was 35 lbs more than I thought, I told my boyfriend of 2 years how much I weighed, and how shocked and upset I was. He offered no support, and 2 months after starting a new regime with a doctor's guidance, he told me he didn't really believe that I was trying to get healthy and/or lose weight..... I dumped him on the spot. After 2 years. Being honest with yourself and others is important.. SO is having supportive friends and partners.

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  • quel's Avatar
    Posted by quel Tue Oct 7, 2008 1:10am PDT

    yah of course i can tell my partner how much i weigh, i guess there's nothing wrong with that. if he loves me then does my size or weight matters to him. and same with me, rather he's big or heavy (but not too heavy please) .. i will still love him

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Comments 1-10 of 74

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