Healthy Living

Friday, December 11, 2009

Would you tell your partner how much you weigh?

I love this post about the one thing we won't do in front of our partners, up now in Love + Sex. It made me laugh, it made me think and it made just a little grossed out to read (OK, skim) the 400 (and counting) comments. The reason why it's funny and thought provoking, and yes, even rather disgusting is because it's true that there are those things we just cannot bring ourselves to reveal in even the most intimate relationships.

To get my mind off of some of the bathroom behavior some readers (oh no, not you) clearly felt comfortable revealing in the comments but not to their boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse (strange, true), I turned my attention to healthy living.  Surely, I thought, there are aspects of our diet, exercise and well-being we don't feel comfortable sharing with the ones we love.

Before that thought was fully formed in my mind, I knew exactly what it was I could not reveal to a partner. My weight.

And really, that holds true whether the scale is up or down for me, whether I'm with a long-term partner or have just met someone new. It was at that point I remembered that a guy I dated for about five minutes a million years ago asked me to tell him what size I wore. At the time, it was a smaller size than I'd been wearing for years, but I am sure when I gasped he knew I was uncomfortable with telling him anyway. He back-pedaled, explaining awkwardly that he might like to buy me clothes (which was weird enough in itself) and so it would be nice to have all my sizes and measurements.

Umm, no thanks. A gift card will do nicely. That's what I thought then, and honestly, what I think now, years later and with a body image that is thankfully much, much better.

Even when I was with my (almost-ex) husband, I cringed to let him see the weight I tapped into my heart rate monitor or even stand too close to the scale when we both joined Weight Watchers before our wedding. Analyze as much as you'd like, but it just felt like my size and weight were my private domain and any way my spouse supported me could be done without specific statistics.

What about you? Would you tell your partner how much you weigh? Does (clothing) size matter when you're being honest with your spouse?


[photo credit: Getty Images]






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Comments 71-75 of 75
  • nima g's Avatar
    Posted by nima g Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:06pm PDT

    ya, it is not a big deal, but i am a competitive runner, so my weight is not anything to be embarrassed about, runners always have nice bodies.

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  • Popolia's Avatar
    Posted by Popolia Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:11pm PDT

    I think most wives will not hide their weight if they are within the healthy weight range.

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  • Maria's Avatar
    Posted by Maria Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:02am PDT

    i would tell... and yes its only a number but there is always that self- conscious feeling about it... i been and still am having problems with the way i look, i'm between 5'7 and 5'8 at 144lbs, everyone always compliments me but i still feel fat and i always have the need to loose more weight..i been deployed for about a month so far and i've lost 14 pounds.. i'm trying to stay motivated but i dont see the pounds lost..my last deployment i was down to 124 and my body did not like that cause i went up to 137 as soon as i got home and my diet didnt change that much... but back to the subject, i would still tell cause i am who i am and like many of ya have said, if the other person doesnt love you for you, leave them, they are not worth your time...

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  • Zeplin522's Avatar
    Posted by Zeplin522 Sat Feb 7, 2009 5:03am PST

    Why not, they see you naked, I mean unless they are totally stupid

    I'm sure they would have a pretty good idea anyway. Besides it just

    a number.

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