Hello everyone I have made some post previously and i would like to thank the people who responded. Here is the real story, my boyfriend and i will be together 10 months as of tomorrow and at the start of the relationsip i knew that there might be a baby involved. So, the baby's mother had two DNA test done and the first boy was not the father and that was the one that she wanted to be the father but that didn't happen. Then she kept harrasing my boyfriend into taking the test and he finally did and he was the father. But i dont have a problem with that because i love his son like he is my own but, she is the problem. She calls him in the middle of the night and asks stupid questions like the other night it started off talking about the baby then she asked him if he was going to go the church with him and he told her no. The reason that he told her no is because he doesn't really like her like that he is only dealing with her because she has his baby (obviously he has moved on) and he just doesn't want to go anywhere with her. The she asked him question about his personal life and he feels like it is none of her business and he doesn't answer to what she ask him. So then that Sunday morning she called him again and asked him if he was going to church with her and again he told her no but this time she said i am not asking you i am demanding to go with me and he just said no. Then she started to say that you are setting a bad example for your son (who is only 6 months old). The she lied to the court and told them that she pays her mother $300 every two weeks to watch the baby and now he has to pay close to $500 in child support which he cant afford. So his parents wrote up on an custody agreement and she blew up and told them in their faces that she was not going to sign the document. So they took that back to the department of social services and they looked over it and now they have to go to court next month. But he recieved another paper in the mail saying that he is being countersued for the same thing which is custody.
Now, one day him and his father went to go drop the baby off at her house and she was playing with him while the parents were talking and he said "da da" and then the baby started crying and she got mad and gave the baby to my boyfriend, so then he left and a few minutes after he left she called him and said come get your son cause he is getting on my damn nerves already. She takes him outside in the cold without any socks or shoes on and then she had his pacifier string rapped around his neck. She calls my boyfriends yells at him and cusses him out and a lot of other things and it is just not right.
My question is what should i do about all of this that is going on? I mean i am not going to leave him because of some chick that is trying to ruin his life. So what should i do about everything?
LIFE PROBLEMS PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- by , on Thu Jul 3, 2008 5:30am PDT
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Posted by Thu Jul 3, 2008 1:12pm PDT
Report AbuseGirlfriend, you have some baby mama drama going on. However, support him and his efforts, and offer encouragement, and only give advice when asked. This chick is a head case. No need adding extra fuel to the fire. If you're a spiritual person, pray for God to get in the midst of the situation and give you guys the strength to go through this. If not, I wish you all the luck in the world.
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Posted by Sat Jul 5, 2008 7:01pm PDT
Report AbuseStay as far away from this girl as possible. Your presence may only provoke her even more.
Tell your boyfriend to always have some one with him when he picks up and drops off the child (not you). If possible have some someone video tape or audio tape all exchanges as they may be used when going to court.
It's funny that she says he is not setting a good example by not attending church with her and the child. She did not even know who the child's father was.
Your boyfriend wll have to establish boudaries. He should not answer personal questions or ask any. That may get difficult but she has to be shown that she is not in a relationship with him except where the child is concerned. She is the "Baby Mama"not the Wife.
There are many father's rights organizations. He can find some for your state in the yellow pages and online.
As far as you are concerned remember this is his battle not yours. Let him deal with this. You can listen to his issues and offer him comfort but avoid telling what to do.Do not start sentences with "You should..." Tell him "You can..." and let him decide what he will do. It will be difficult for you to be objective because of the drama that will affect you as well. In your other blog you asked if the two of you should live together. That should be looked at later. Hopefully after this issue has some resolution, if not you will get caught in the cross fire.
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Posted by Sun Jul 6, 2008 7:49pm PDT
Report AbuseI'VE BEEN THERE DONE THAT!! MY HUSBAND HAS A 17 YEAR OLD SON. HE HAS FOUGHT FOR THIS CHILD FOR 17 YEARS. IT DOESN'T GET ANY EASIER. JUST BE THERE FOR HIM AND SHOW AS MUCH SUPPORT AS YOU CAN. JUST STAY AWAY FROM HER. SHE SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE. AND SHE CAN MAKE IT LIVING heck ON HIM. WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN ON A CALENDER SO WHEN HE GOES TO COURT IT WILL MAKE HIM LOOK BETTER. HE NEEDS A GOOD LAWYER AND HE CAN GET THAT CHILD IF SHE IS A MENTAL CASE OR ABUSING IT IN ANY WAY. TAKE LOTS OF PISC IF ANYTHING ODDS CAMES AROUND. SUCH AS MARKS OR HEALTH PROBLEMS. I'M SORRY HE (AND YOU) IS GOING THROUGH THIS. JUST HANG IN THERE. AND REMEMBER GIVE HIM ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT.. HE;S GOING NEED IT. YOU CAN WRITE ME ANY TIME YOU NEED. I'LL ANSWER ALL I CAN.
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Posted by Sun Jul 6, 2008 7:49pm PDT
Report AbuseI'VE BEEN THERE DONE THAT!! MY HUSBAND HAS A 17 YEAR OLD SON. HE HAS FOUGHT FOR THIS CHILD FOR 17 YEARS. IT DOESN'T GET ANY EASIER. JUST BE THERE FOR HIM AND SHOW AS MUCH SUPPORT AS YOU CAN. JUST STAY AWAY FROM HER. SHE SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE. AND SHE CAN MAKE IT LIVING heck ON HIM. WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN ON A CALENDER SO WHEN HE GOES TO COURT IT WILL MAKE HIM LOOK BETTER. HE NEEDS A GOOD LAWYER AND HE CAN GET THAT CHILD IF SHE IS A MENTAL CASE OR ABUSING IT IN ANY WAY. TAKE LOTS OF PISC IF ANYTHING ODDS CAMES AROUND. SUCH AS MARKS OR HEALTH PROBLEMS. I'M SORRY HE (AND YOU) IS GOING THROUGH THIS. JUST HANG IN THERE. AND REMEMBER GIVE HIM ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT.. HE;S GOING NEED IT. YOU CAN WRITE ME ANY TIME YOU NEED. I'LL ANSWER ALL I CAN.
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