5 ways to get over feeling overwhelmed

There's stress -- boy, howdy, is there ever stress right now -- and then there's overwhelm.

Right now, I have both, and one is feeding the other. When I'm overwhelmed, I get really withdrawn (if you've ever met me in person, you'll understand that it's a strange thing to be around a very quiet Lylah). Sometimes, I seem angry, but I'm not, I'm just really frustrated. And my to-do list seems to grow by the second, because I can't seem to get anything done. Which, of course, adds to the frustration, and to the feeling of being overwhelmed.

So, how to you break the cycle? Here are five things I try to do to overcome that feeling of being overwhelmed:

1.) Put it in perspective. Yes, times are tough. In fact, they're pretty horrible. But where do you stand, in the grand scheme of things? Take a hard look at what's going on around you. Look for the bright side -- there always is one, somewhere -- and hold on to it like a lifeline. One excellent way to put things in perspective: Cuddle your kids. Even if they're too big to be cuddled (some of mine are), grab them, give them an embarrassing hug, shrug off the "Moooooom!" and then take a few minutes to remember what they were like when they were tiny and still thought that you were a superhero. Those little (and not-so-little) faces... that's what's important.

 2.) Take baby steps. When I get overwhelmed, I get paralyzed by the huge amount of whatever work needs to be done, and the fact that nothing's actually getting done. Pick one thing -- one small thing -- and do it. Then another. Divide your day into hours, and if you're still feeling overwhelmed, get through the day in five-minute chunks. The time will pass whether you're constructive or not... might as well be constructive.

3.) Be gentle with yourself. Being angry with yourself doesn't make things better, and there's no need to add guilt to the mix. Cut yourself some slack, take a short break, give yourself a treat. After I write this, I'm going to do all three -- shut my computer for the night (slack), take a long soak in the tub (break), while sipping on a little scotch (treat). Then I'm going to go to bed.

4.) Go to bed. Yes, really, I'm going to go to bed. If my head hits the pillow before midnight, I consider that early; before 11 p.m. is decadent. When I'm really and truly overwhelmed, I'll aim for 10 p.m. I've never actually gotten to bed that early (at least, not since I had kids), but just the thought of it makes me all giddy. Giddy is good for battling overwhelm.

5.) Look to the past. Have you been in this situation before? Has anyone you know been in it? It took me a while, but then I remembered what my own parents went through, back in the early '80s, when we were in the middle of a really bad recession and they were struggling with entrepreneurship and day jobs and tuition for three kids. How did they handle it? I'll have to ask them, but the bottom line is that they got through it. Which means that now, 25 years later, I will, too.

Have you been feeling overwhelmed? What helps you cope?

Lylah M. Alphonse writes about juggling career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day and Work It, Mom!, and blogs at Write. Edit. Repeat.