Some pals serve as excellent sounding boards for sage advice. Others just wanna have fun. Still others are your right arm or your been-there, done-that point of reference. Why is it good to have an arsenal of different friend types in the little black book of your life? “Because no single friend can meet all your needs,” says Marla Paul, author of The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making and Keeping Friends When You're Not a Kid Anymore. Here, six friends you’d be lucky to have.
1. The Cheerleader
Who she is: Whether she’s an old pal or someone you just met, her hallmark is her glass-half-full outlook.
Why you need her: Who couldn’t stand a little rah-rah from time to time? “This kind of friend is like a sunny spring day,” says Paul. “You feel lighter and happier being with her.” Not only can she bolster your mood, she’s also the one to nudge you toward something you want to try—applying for a new job, getting a new hairdo—that you might otherwise fear.
2. The Advice-Giver
Who she is: A colleague, a mentor, your mother—or just the smartest, most even-keeled person you’ve ever met—who’s the best advice-giver you know.
Why you need her: “She’s the wise one,” says Megan McMorris, editor of the essay collection P.S.: What I Didn’t Say. “Nothing shocks or surprises her, and no matter what you come to her with, she won’t judge you.” Instead, she’ll be there for you—after the breakup, when you’re shopping for a new home—with steady, smart counsel.
3. The Oldest/Childhood Friend
Who she is: The one who’s known you since junior-high sleepovers, if not since you were both in diapers.
Why you need her: Quite simply, because she gets you. “You don’t have to explain yourself to your oldest friends,” says McMorris. She knows where and how you grew up, knows your parents and siblings, and gets the references to schoolteachers or hometown hangouts. Plus she tolerates your, shall we say, quirks, such as your frequent lateness or your sarcastic humor.
4. The Mommy/Neighborhood Friend
Who she is: The stroller-walking buddy, playgroup mom or next-door neighbor who can get your kids off the bus in a pinch.
Why you need her: Having other moms who are either in the same parenting trenches as you or just ahead of you (and can tell you what potty training or the first day of kindergarten is really like) makes you feel less alone. Also, says McMorris, “you need a few friends who understand that now that you’re a mom, your schedule is harder to pin down.” It’s just easier to socialize with other women who understand the disruptions of naptime and soccer practice.
5. The Guy Friend
Who he is: Your brother, your cubicle-mate, the boyfriend you broke up with so long ago he’s become your friend.
Why you need him: He tells you what life is like on the other side of the gender divide. It’s a generalization, of course, but on the whole, guys make it easier to pick up the friendship where you left off, and just hang out without rehashing the past. Plus, a male friend may be able to “help you be more assertive and selfish, which are not necessarily bad things,” says Paul. Oh, and did we mention that he can help you unravel the mysteries of your significant other’s odd behavior?
6. The Honest Friend
Who she is: Anyone you know who’s a total straight shooter, from your big sister to your college roommate.
Why you need her: Because sometimes you really do want the truth about whether that haircut is awful or those jeans make your butt look big. And it’s not just the trivial stuff: Your brutally honest pals, says McMorris, will give you the straight scoop on, say, whether your boyfriend is not treating you the way you deserve. On the flip side, “if your honest friend is enthusiastic about something in your life, you know it’s good.”
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