my wife and i are both 32 and have 2 kids. age 10 and 5 boy and girl. she went back to college for resp therapy. She has made a new group of friends. kind of like a little "greys anatomy" thing. the problem is one of the proffesors. she says he is like this with all of them. they are always texting back and forth. sometimes talking on the phone. they have become decent "friends" if you will. he is married with kids, but having trouble with the marriage. I have not met him. dont want to because i don't know what i would do. I think it is not appropriate. she says nothing like what i am thinking is going on. So why all of a sudden the constant male companianship. i dont have a problem with her having male friends. that is not it. my problem is every day sometimes all day long just the two of them texting and talking on the phone. to me thats more than friendship. is it me or am i overreacting. should i visit this guy?
Am i overeacting?
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Posted by Fri Nov 27, 2009 11:59am PST
Report AbuseYou should not visit the guy, because the friendship is a two way street and you cannot control anyone's behavior. You should address it with your wife, and just ask her to be totally honest with you.
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Posted by Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:08pm PST
Report AbuseFor me personally I don't think it is a good idea. If the guy is having problems with his spouse I think he is looking for some sympathy from another women. It might be innocent now but I think it could lead to a problem later.
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Posted by Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:09pm PST
Report AbuseFor me personally I don't think it is a good idea. If the guy is having problems with his spouse I think he is looking for some sympathy from another women. It might be innocent now but I think it could lead to a problem later.
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Posted by Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:13pm PST
Report AbuseI am not jealous. I trust my wife. I am sorry if it came across differently. It is just that after 11 years of marriage this is the first time she has ever done something like this. It is confusing to me. We are not having any trouble with our relationship, just curious as to what others think.
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Posted by Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:26pm PST
Report AbuseIf you're not having any problems in your relationship, you may be over-reacting. However, it is not appropriate for a professor to have a close 'friendship' relationship with his student. If they're talking about the class or her chosen career field, he's being a mentor, which is not only appropriate but increadibly helpful. But if they're talking about personal things, then he's crossing a line. He's in a position of authority over your wife, which automatically means their "friendship" is unequal, even if she hasn't realized it yet. Maybe nothing bad will come of it, but she's setting herself up for a nasty situation if this guy turns out to be a jerk.
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Posted by Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:59pm PST
Report Abusevery simple ,just friends -there no reason why u cant see what there texing,no reason why u cant meet him -if just friends as what u say
it all the time texing,,red flag is there
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Posted by Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:09pm PST
Report AbuseI think right now also, that nothing is going on. But, if it continue's it could fall into an big infatuation.
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Posted by Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:14pm PST
Report AbuseI think because of the kind of situation you shoudn't act rationally(sp?) but try to keep your cool. After your kids have fallen asleep, pull her to the kitchen or your bedroom and sit and talk to her. Just ask her to be straight forward and you wouldn't be upset. As long as you here it now. If you guys have been married this long, there are going to be problems, but everyone that is married can get through it. Especially since it's just your first time ever having to deal with this sort of issue with her. Don't come on suspiciously(sp?) but just continue gently with her saying that you know that she is faithful, but you are getting jealous because it seems as if shes paying more attention to him than to you. Even if that's not the real problem just slightly bend the truth a little. So it doesn't seem as if you don't trust her. Whatever you do though, DON'T VISIT HIM! If the issue escalates to that level then just randomly pop up at her job one day, to "meet him". Of course you'll be on your best behavior. Maybe buy some flowers or something and give her a kiss or something in front of him. Just to show that she's yours. If that doesn't work, then I believe you should go to marriage counseling. Just to settle that issue. But once again if it comes to that don't just say it bluntly, ease into it so you won't seem as if you don't trust her.
Hope my advice help.
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