All of us at one time or another probably experienced the phenomenon that’s widely regarded as culture shock. Culture shock is usually defined as a rollercoaster of emotions we go through when entering and adjusting to a culture (or environment) that’s not our own. Most of the research I read suggests that there are five stages to culture shock:
- Stage I – everything in the new place seems exciting and interesting;
- Stage II – we begin to encounter daily struggles of living in the new environment and realize the great differences between the life we’ve known and the life we live now;
- Stage III – things begin to look up, we start getting used to the new life, and problems no longer seem grandiose;
- Stage IV – the new place starts feeling like home, we make local friends, no longer fret a lot about bad things, and immensely enjoy good things.
- Stage V – we come back to our own country, notice that things may have changed in our absence, and begin to miss old friends and experiences we’ve left behind
And so when people look at this definition, they immediately begin to try to figure out what “stage” they are at and what awaits them in the future. And while this process may offer some comfort and may show you that you are not alone, it’s not ideal. Because not everyone goes through all the stages, not everyone goes in order the stages are presented, and not everyone can identify with these stages.
So instead of pigeonholing people into the stages and figuring out where each person is and how we can help him/her there, I want to suggest a different approach. We can look at our experiences in another culture not through the lens of “stages” but rather through the lens of “perspectives”.
When we go through life, we find ourselves constantly changing perspectives. In any one-day we can go through “frustrated”, “elated”, “sad”, “creative” and many other perspectives. These perspectives color the way we look at the world around us and they also either empower or dis-empower us.
The same with Culture Shock. When we move to a foreign place, we may find ourselves in a perspective of “curiosity” or perspective of “hate” or perspective of “longing for home”. Any one of those can be a section of your Culture Shock journey, almost like those stages are. Except that there is one thing you can do with perspectives that you cannot do with stages. You can change perspectives at will.
That’s right. If you are stuck in a perspective that’s not working for you, you are free to change it and choose another one — one that would be more empowering.
So let’s take the five stages above and turn them into perspectives.
- wonderful (Stage I)
- frustrating/painful (Stage II)
- doable (Stage III)
- enjoyable (Stage IV)
- a longing (Stage V)
You see how these definitions illustrate five different perspectives we can take on our relationship with another culture? And, if you think about it, there could be an infinite number of these perspectives -- we don't have to limit them to just these five.
This variety keeps us from being locked into one and only perspective that may simply be our state of “being” at that particular time. We open our vision, discover other states of “being” that may also be true and, thus, have the power of choice. We can now choose which perspective suits us best at the moment, choose it, and live from it. Because remember -- living in another culture will remain essentially the same no matter how we look at it, but our looking at the situation will have an enormous impact on us, our emotions, and our opportunities.
The Culture Shock becomes much less shocking when we are free to choose.
If you want to know more about managing Culture Shock and developing skills to make your transitions easier, please visit THREE STEPS TO MANAGING CULTURE SHOCK AND MAKING TRANSITIONS EASIER.
Margarita Gokun Silver is an Expatriate and Cross-Cultural Coach who works with her clients to make their international experiences successful and fun. For more information please visit Global Coach Center.
