It may take many years before the symptoms
manifest themselves. You hear comments like "what's
wrong with you" and "are you crazy" often. You
feel the frustration of trying to live a "normal" life
but your reactions to what is happening around you seem out of your
control. How many times have you heard your loved ones tell
you that it's "all in your head?" The
frustration is there on several levels: you don't know what is
going on, or why and the people you need to support you the most
are in major denial. The stigma attached to mental health
ailments still exists in this day and age just like the stigma of
being developmentally disabled. The bewildering mood
swings...people just speculate on whether it's "that time
of the month." Debilitating depression to the point
where all you want to do is sleep...not even particularly
hungry....go a few days without showering ......then the periods of
euphoria....you feel like the characters from Titanic in the
scene where they stood at the front of the majestic vessel wind
blowing through their hair as their arms were outstretched in
abandon....the euphoric period you may find yourself impulse buying
like there is no tomorrow and doing things you normally
wouldn't. Sometimes by the time you realize you've
gone through a 'manic' period it's too late and the
damage is done.
Relationship-wise? OY VAY! Where do I start? It's
difficult to be a friend to someone who is bi-polar (formerly
called manic depressive) because you don't know which phase
they are in half the time. You just think they are acting
out. When you understand it and how it works it gives you
empathy but it is emotionally, mentally and physically draining to
have a friend that is bi-polar...from a relationship
perspective? You need the patience of a saint. And
hopefully one of you is NOT bi=polar or schizophrenic or anything
like that. The one who doesn't have mental health issues
is going to be the rock for that person who does. They
need patience, they need knowledge, they need to be sympathetic and
empathetic but also strong. There are gonna be times when
even the most patient want to pull out their hair and throttle the
person who is frustrating and exasperating them. But the most
important thing to remember is that just because you have a mental
illness doesn't mean you cannot take ownership for your
actions. It doesn't give you carte-blanche to do whatever
you want with immunity. Empowerment.
I happen to be bi-polar for probably 20 years...but didn't find
out until last year. I also have PTSD, ADD, and anxiety/panic
disorder. Despite these conditions I graduated high
school with a Regents Diploma. I graduated from a private
university with a 3.5 GPA despite having trouble focusing and
concentrating. I am presently taking a Medical Assistant
Course despite taking various medications which have caused memory
loss, type 2 diabetes and gallbladder and liver disease to
develop. I have a 15 yr old and 3 yr old to raise by
myself. I am teaching myself Spanish, Arabic, Italian,
Russian, German, Chinese, Japanese and Hebrew. I am
refreshing my American Sign Language and French. I write
poetry, novels, screenplays. I hid mine well for many
years. But when it came to rleationships different
story. I have 7 broken engagements behind me. I
confessed EVERYTHING to my present partner. Most people
can't handle the truth as a famous actor in a movie once
said. But I am open and honest in almost a childlike
way. And I felt it only fair to allow him to make an informed
decision about whether to pursue a relationship with me or find
someone who wouldn't bring 'drama'. I guess
he's a masochist because he didn't run away. He's
been loving, supportive and consistent in how he treats me
every step of the way. I love him for treating me like a
normal woman, not one who's hormones are so out of whack she
doesn't know whether she is coming or going half the
time. I've worked in the medical field for 12
years. I started but didn't finish LPN School.
Everyone was shocked when I finished high school let alone got an
associate's degree! But the joke was on them....Sure I have my
bad days...my good days...my couldn't find my rear end in the
dark with two hands and a flashlight....but I'm still
here....and a sense of humor certainly helps as does a good support
system. I feel sorry for the ignorant, judgemental people out
there that just classify people who are wired differently as being
crazy. It is a grave disservice. Crazy ? HA!
Don't make me laugh. At one point i was on 6 different
psych meds.....my system went haywire and I ended up in a psych
ward at the local hospital for 4 days. I gained a ton of
weight, which i am still fighting to lose. I began looking to
natural remedies: dark green leafy veggies help combat
depression. Cinnamon surprise surprise helps lower blood
sugar levels. I'm gonna beat the weight thing, and the
herbs and vitamins in Nutri-Calm are helping calm my mood swings
and as an added benefit, curb cravings for sweets.
The most important thing is for the person who has diagnosed and
those who interact with them to be educated: on the reason they are
being prescribed the medication, what possible side effects may
occur and you may have to do a lot of trial and error before you
get the right combination. The affected person is going
through enough already, don't make things worse by denying they
have the condition or being derogatory in any way. They need
your support, your love and to be honest with themselves about what
they are dealing with. Some simple things to be aware of are:
side effects, don't take a "substitute" when you run
out of your own medication at your own dosage -- the results can be
fatal. Be sure and keep your therapy and psychiatry
appts. Psychologists diagnose, psychiatrists write the
prescriptions. If you aren't happy with or don't
trust or feel comfortable with who you have, change
providers. Just keep in mind Abilify, Klonopin, Seroquel,
Geodon, Zoloft, Lamictal....they ALL have many bad side
effects. I am now taking just Xanax (which is supposed to be
addictive) and take Nutri-Calm to stabilize the
hormones. Sure it takes longer to work because its natural
but there are NO SIDE EFFECTS. Yay! Ask questions, do
research and be honest about what you are
feeling.
Dealing with a Friend/Mate/Associate Who is Bi-Polar
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